Twilight Drinking Game, borrowed

http://zippytheavenger.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-Drinking-Game-100591794

It's hard to come up with a better drinking game than this one, but I'll give it a go eventually.

I posted it below, in case it ever disappears off of DeviantArt.

The Twilight Drinking Game

by Zippytheavenger

Because to get through that movie, you’re gonna need to be sloshed.


Take a sip when…

-Bella flips her hair
-Edward once again claims that he is dangerous
-Edward tells Bella to stay away from him, then stalks her anyway
-Bella bitches and whines about something for no reason
-Something happens in slow-motion with soft piano music
-Stephenie Meyer’s attempt at emotional writing turns into sappy ridiculous dialogue that would make any rational person LOL
-Some poor pathetic teenage girl sets herself up for disappointment


Take a drink when…

-Edward saves Bella from something
-Bella’s behavior is weak and antifeminist
-The filmmakers try to use special effects and snappy editing to disguise that there is no plot to speak of
-Edward acts like a controlling, possessive butt nugget
-Bella ALLOWS Edward to act like a controlling, possessive butt nugget because she’s a pathetic dumbass who lets Edward do whatever he wants and treat her like a child because, gosh, he’s so beautiful and Adonis-like teehee!
-Somebody hits on Bella because she’s OMG SO PRETTY WTF HAPPYRAINBOWS
-Bella stares at Edward longingly although she doesn’t know him and he has shown her nothing but disgust and contempt
-Edward does something that we are supposed to think is ‘sweet’ or ‘romantic’ but is actually stupid as hell
-Jacob struggles in vain to get Bella’s (or the audience’s) attention

Take two drinks when…

-Bram Stoker spins in his grave
-Alice gives a makeover or has a vision, because she exists only to be useful to the male characters
-Rosalie gets a flattering closeup or nice lighting, because she exists only to be beautiful, and therefore useful to the male characters
-Esme acts like the archetypal mother figure on her way to fetch Carlisle a beer and his slippers
-Carlisle acts like the archetypal father figure on his way to act like the stereotypical hot doctor
-Angry feminists throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Angry writers throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Angry vampire fans throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Something that should NEVER EVER EVER sparkle does so


Chug your drink when…

-Robert Pattinson’s concentration slips to momentarily reveal the shame and self-loathing he is feeling.


Throw your drink up in the air and dance for joy in the unlikely event that…

-The Cullens act like REAL vampires and rip all of the humans limb from limb.
-Edward goes out in the sunlight thinking he will sparkle and instead burns to a greasy black crisp. Slowly and painfully.
-Bella sprouts and brain AND a spine.
-You unlock the secret to time-travel and use the technology to go back and push Stephenie Meyer in front of a bus before she ever has the chance to write this drivel.