Kyle XY redux

Oh Kyle XY. Now that I've had a few weeks to process (and forget parts of) the final season, I realize that I really miss this show. It had its stumbles, especially in the last season, but overall I enjoyed that this random little sci-fi show was on ABC Family. Or more to the point made ABC Family. Before Kyle, I think everyone associated ABC Family with 7th Heaven reruns. After Kyle, we have more mature fare such as Greek (which is amazing and everyone should watch) and Roommates (which sucks balls, but they had a 5 minute masturbation gag in the first episode, so yeah, adult). I even here Secret Life of an American Teenager is worth watching. So I have to give props to Kyle XY for that.

And really, overall the plots were interesting. I had issues with the specifics, but more because they were cliches than anything else. The whole secret society out to get Kyle was intriguing, and his powers were always cool. When they first introduced Jessie, I was kind of bleh about her character, but in the last few episodes she became really fun. And watching her flirt with Kyle was sweet, in a messed up kind of way. I'm just sorry we didn't get a resolution. I'd love a TV movie to come in and wrap up some of the loose ends, but who knows if we'll get that.

Yeah, this is a half-hearted recap, I realize. It's not that I don't like the show, I just don't like it as much as I once did. But I raised a glass to its finale, and now it has its own blog post.

The guy that got sucked out of the plane was the lucky one

It's official. I'm done with Heroes. Last night's episode was just ridiculous, and I can't even motivate myself to write a full rant out. Claire and Peter both completely suck on the show. There was no drama with the main characters getting kidnapped. Peter's power doesn't make sense. We just glazed over how Sylar is alive again. They didn't even pretend like it was a secret, he's just walking about on his non-sensical daddy quest. Hiro could have been cool as Oracle, and then wasn't. And the plane crash was so ridiculous I don't even want to talk about it.

Now if I was a show-runner on this show, I would bring in some fresh blood that didn't suck and demote Peter and Claire to the back-row. Send Claire off to train so that she's not so completely fucking useless all the time, and just kill Peter. Give Hiro a geek job like being Oracle, cause that's cool. Get rid of Daphne and Parkman. Sylar is a good baddie, but he needs a better purpose than "are you my daddy?" I liked when he was collecting powers. Also, we need to NEVER use the future-drawing power again. Ever. I'm so done with that shit. The genosha idea could be cool, if they set it up properly, but we need to remove such heavy-handed imagery like "I'm Iranian, I know what they're doing". Ugh.

But the fact of the matter is I'll never know if they fix these things because I'm officially done with the show. I couldn't even bring myself to be interested by the preview next week. I'm finished. And it makes me angry that this show could have so much potential and it just didn't live up to it. And it makes me angry that from now on every superpower show they want to make will be compared to this garbage.

In other news Kyle XY got cancelled. Which would have made me sad about three weeks ago, but now I'm very "meh" about the whole thing. And part of me is relieved that I will have less shit to watch every week.

Good thing I didn't waste my 100th post on this crap.

Kyle, what big electrified hands you have...

My reaction to Kyle XY this week can best be summed up with "Ugh". Everything I predicted would happen two weeks ago went ahead and happened this week. Kyle got all crazy-pants on Amanda without actually explaining his secret, and she understandably freaked. But what annoys me about this storyline is not that she freaked, because while I didn't like it I knew it was coming from a mile away. What annoys me is that the situations the characters kept finding themselves in were utterly RIDICULOUS and impossible to believe. I now present examples:

A) Josh's general horniness: I don't mind that the boy was horny. He's a teenager who just had sex for the first time, and really just saying "Teenager" should have been a good enough qualifier. But looking at porn without locking his door? It's not like he hit puberty last week, he should know to lock his door by this point. And watching porn in the middle of the family room in the middle of primetime? REALLY?! Everyone gets pent-up, but that doesn't mean you abandon all sense just to get off whenever possible. And the resolution to his storyline was SO STUPID. "I realized I just really miss talking to her". Ugh. Poorly written. Although the shit you can get away with on ABC Family these days is incredible: Holding a pillow over your lap when you stand up after watching porn? Wow. Also, I was taken out of the scene of Josh looking at the magazine in his room, because the point Jessie walked in on was just awkward. Who stands next to the bed with his jeans around his ankles and his boxers still on and yet not excited? Just weird. And who the hell extends their vacation by 3 weeks? Apparently lesbians. And what hte hell season is it supposed to be? I guess summer now that I think about it, but it's kind of disorienting.

B) Jessie being hated: I thought Jessie was actually the high point of this episode, which is why I was so annoyed that everyone had a problem with her. Yes, she has super hearing and no social skills to speak of. So PLAN AHEAD. It was one thing with Kyle because they didn't know him going in, but they should know by now what to expect. If I was her I would have slit my wrists in Kyle's tub and written "You should have loved me" on the floor in my own blood. And Nicole and Stephen were so weak in their "remember Kyle" shit. I'm still foggy why Jessie got the room and Kyle had to move in with Josh. Nicole hasn't done any serious psychology work in years, can't she just move into the family room or something?

C) Kyle, in general: This is the most upsetting thing for me, because I always liked Kyle. Sure he was painfully self-righteous at times, but you could attribute a lot to his naivete at first, and then a bit to his earnestness to learn about his past. But after all this time, he's been around too long to still be 'naive', and he's still earnest to save Amanda, but he's going about it ridiculously backwards. First, I appreciate he loves Amanda, but is he dead from the neck down? I don't think Jessie is overly attractive but a boy looking at a real life naked girl for the first time should illicit SOME kind of response. Like "Oh that's where the penis goes". And then he's determined to help Amanda, which I think is great, but KISSING JESSIE seems like a good plan? Come on Kyle, you're not this stupid. And again, LOCK THE GOD DAMNED DOOR. And then he's like "I can explain" and Amanda is all "No you can't" and he's like "oh, ok". Uhm, what? Shake her and say "LISTEN BITCH. See this belly button that I don't have? See what happens to the lights when I close my eyes and put on my "thinking" face? Maybe, just maybe, you don't understand what's going on." This is exactly what I knew would happen, and it pisses me off that, if the writers were really going to go there, they had to go there in such an unimaginative way. And WTF was with Amanda not going "Uhm, why the fuck are your hands sparking?" If I saw electricity arcing off of my boyfriends fingers, I'd have some questions. The only upside I can see to this whole stupid storyline is that I hear Kyle goes to a bar next week to drown his sorrows. Except he goes with Josh and Declan, so yuck.

Other minor things that annoyed me: Why is Declan just the "girls don't make sense" guy now? Hasn't he earned a better spot than 'Dude, don't ask me, look at my situation. I make out with my ex-girlfriend's best friend and they both flip. Bitches are CRAZY'? How the hell does Lori know where to find nerd-boy in a giant college campus? And how does she just magically wind up there right as he's leaving? I went to college, and I couldn't run into people I was trying to find. Can they find a better villian than this creepy british guy with the longish hair? He's just kind of stupid. And can Jessi get over her Kyle crush quickly? Because I'm done with that shit.

It's all just frustrating. This show was never perfect TV, but now it's just disappointing, which really annoys me. Especially because I really enjoyed the season premeire. As with anything else (Heroes, Grey's Anatomy) I'll probably keep watching with hopes that it gets better.

Kyle XY: Neither that psychic or the writers of this episode are your friends

I hate it when I'm right. Well, ok, that's a whole load of shit. I enjoy it oodles. But I hate when I see shit coming from a mile away and then it actually happens. see: Amanda getting angry at Kyle for being so fucking secretive. Did he really expect her to be OK with the idea that she's apparently an ambulatory narcoleptic? "I found you some ways from the dance. You were asleep." Uhm, what? "Oh, OK Kyle. Thanks for finding me. The last time this happened I wound up in a biker bar. You should see the tattoo I have on my thigh to prove it. Oh wait, you won't". He's clearly being ridiculously overprotective, which makes sense since she has a habit of getting randomly abducted. But the problem is she doesn't know that happened. And keeping your powers a secret makes sense when the worst thing you have to explain is your lack of a belly button. Doesn't so much work when you become this decade's Lindberg baby. I never really liked Amanda, and always thought Kyle could do better, but he is acting like a complete dipshit. I did take a small hint of glee with how the psychic's prediction turned out (even though I saw it coming from the minute the bitch said it. In fact I saw the entire twist with the psychic coming the whole time. BAD WRITING)

But that wasn't the end of my annoyance, don't you worry. I was mightily annoyed at the Josh/Andi story. Why did he not call her on "If you're embarrassed you had sex with me, how about you say it rather than coming up with some bad pop culture reference about Juno?" I understand that losing your virginity is a big thing, but it's high school, and it happens. It really seemed like she completely regretted having sex. Or maybe it's just sex with Josh. Maybe he didn't push her buttons properly. I bet Kyle could do it properly. I in fact have a list of things I think Kyle could do properly. Or at least a list of things I'd like to see him give a try. Side-tracked.

And then there's the poorly-constructed Lori-Declan-Hillary triangle. I say poorly constructed when I should say Obviously-constructed. At least Hilary admitted to enjoying herself at the time. And what the fuck is Declan so confused by? You kissed your ex-girlfriend's best friend. You may think that she has no right to be upset, but don't be so surprised that she is upset. And I don't like Lori's new love interest near enough, because I think he's boring. I could care less that he's on the Latenock JV squad. They clearly keep him around because he fits a demographic that Lori would fall on her back for.

The whole thing was just kind of boring. There were no powers (outside of Jessie summoning all the knives and throwing them, which I enjoyed.) The only character I could really stand watching was Jessie, because she played her hurt well. Her mother left her, which is just the latest in the long list of disappointments that is her life. And then the boy she loves (The fact that it's kyle is boring and unimaginative on her part. She should mind-frak someone into loving her. It's just her speed) asks her to watch his girlfriend. How dense is he? There's naive, and then there's Kyle's density. I'll of course keep watching because TV.com told me that Kyle winds up in a bar in a couple weeks, which I can only see as being awesome. Any hope of it being a gay bar? Or that there might be a gay character on this show? I keep forgetting Andi's parents (who we've never seen) are lesbians. I want Kyle to get a gay sidekick that is desperately in love with him but knows it won't come to anything (unlike Amanda, who loves him but doens't know him, and Jessie who loves him and thinks it might come to something). And this isn't out of some desire to get a gay on every TV show I watch. Well, it sort of is, but only because gay visibility is so lacking. But to be honest the fan base that would follow from such a move would be INSANE. All these teen girls love a good same-sex crush, and as long as it isn't expressly seen the wingnuts can only be so offended. And if they're going to boycott ABC they have plenty more reasons than this. Oh well, it will probably never come to pass. As long as the writing improves I won't argue.

Kyle XY is back!!

And let me just say 'Woot' to that. I watched the first episode this morning, and I remembered why I love this show. The basic plot is Amanda has been kidnapped, and Kyle chases after her. What I enjoyed most about this episode is that Kyle is not fucking around, and as such uses his powers a hell of a lot more. The shit that boy can do with water is amazing. Speaking of amazing:



How hot is that? And how LOW. Jesus Matt Dallas, you have to do some heavy-duty trimming to wear your pants that low. I was seriously just intending on talking about the episode, but I went searching for pictures to make the blog more interesting and this is what I found. Totally side-tracked me. I know he gets asked to show his belly button ALL the damned time, so I kind of feel bad for him. But then I look at him and I feel a lot less bad, and a bit more "Why hello!". I cannot get over how low his pants are, especially because that's all I can see of the picture as I type this.

Ok. I need to stop talking about Matt Dallas being hot. The episode as a whole, like I said, was good. Favorite line of the whole night:

Lori: Wow.
Hilary: Oh, no, Lori, you don't understand! He was drunk, and I got wet, and ...
Lori: Ok, you can stop there.

AHHHH. You can't say that on ABC Family! If I had been drinking something I would have done a spit-take. Amanda's mom was cracking me up (partly because I love me some Teryl Rothery), and the scenes with Josh and Andy were sweet. I like Josh so much more now that he's with her. The parents were kind of forgettable, but they always are.

I legitimately feel bad for Jessie. Bitch just cannot catch a break. Do people forget that she grew up in a tube and has no social skills? Or parents. Or friends. I'm not saying she's not a bit of a bitch at times, but she has her reasons. I like it when her and Kyle are on the same team. You get the impression he makes her a better person, and she makes him less perfect. I enjoy not-perfect Kyle. And I enjoy Kyle leaping buildings and levitating. And I enjoy Matt Dallas naked.

The only thing I really want to happen this season is for Amanda to find out about Kyle. I can see how she's been sheltered from it up until now, but as Latenok (sp?) starts chasing after him, I can't believe she doesn't catch him doing something. Given her character she shouldn't have a problem with it. Or better yet she's like "Pssh, I already knew". Just like when I came out to my friends.

I've decided to be a lot more confident in my life. I'm not sure why this was a sudden revelation, but I'm just tired of being insecure and scared and as a result boring. I worry a little bit that I'll come off as a dick, but then I realize I can't be bothered so much. Especially if it makes me funnier. Anyway, I'm off to kill time before I'm released from work.