District 9

So. For those of you that haven't heard, there is a new movie out called "District 9." The basic premise of the story is that aliens have landed in Johannesburg and are basically treated like shit by humans. It's pretty easy to tell from the trailer that one human starts to relate to the aliens (who look like giant bugs and are called Prawns). Here's the trailer:



So, my review. Spoilers abound, so just be aware.

First let me acknowledge that this movie has gotten great reviews. Rotten Tomatoes lists it as having "all the elements of a thoroughly entertaining science-fiction classic." I love science-fiction, so I went into this movie expecting to love it, or at least be "thoroughly entertained."

Can you tell by my tone yet that I wasn't?

Now, I readily admit that going into this movie, I was tired and achy. And to sit with my mom, I was in the front row for the first ten minutes of the movie, which means about two feet from the screen. 60% of the movie is shot in Shaky-cam. Or as the douchebags like to say, "Documentary style." I was about ready to throw up after those ten minutes, at which point I moved further back. But even further back, I found the camera work to be very intense. I actually had to close my eyes at one point to calm my brain. And also, it felt a bit like the cinematographer was experimenting throughout the film. Some of it was documentary style, some of it was end-of-rifle-cam, and some of it was traditional camera work. I really, really wish he had just picked one, and I really wish whichever one he had picked was NOT end-of-rifle cam.

And I'm well aware that this may have influenced my opinion of the movie, and I decided I would look for things I enjoyed about the movie. After all, everyone loved it, didn't they? I was clearly missing something. So about halfway through the movie, I decided I was going to find something to like about this movie. And I did! The effects were great. I thought the aliens were well done, and once they started blowing shit up with the alien guns and the giant alien robot, I was laughing my ass off. Something about human beings exploding like water balloons. And when the robot picked up a PIG and threw it at a guy I guffawed. Probably pissed a lot of people off when I did that.

But when I take a step back from the OMG COOL ROBOT, I find the plot to be lacking. I mean, it's got lots in it, but none of it seemed very original to me. In fact the only plot development that surprised me was that they didn't kill off Christopher or his son. I thought sure one of them was going to get it.

And really, the fact the I see the plot as unoriginal makes it all the more obivous that the movie spent it's entire length beating you to death with its message. And that message consists of three bullet points:

1. Apartheid is bad.
2. Don't judge a book by its cover
3. Humans are evil

Sure glad I paid $10 to have that message reiterated for the 200th time in my life. It's not that any of these messages are bad, but I want them to be far more cerebral than they were. Like, the Apartheid bit could have been less obvious had the movie been set ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD. Johannesburg? Really?

Point 2 and 3 are actually connected. The longer explanation is "Oh look, these aliens are so ugly and buglike, but they care for their children just like we do! Oh look, those are the humans trying to make life better for the aliens, but really they just want to exploit them for their weapons so we can kill each other faster!" I get it. Human beings are scum. That's been true for millenia. And we need ugly fucking aliens to show us just how bad we are, as a sort of counterpoint, because apparently we're too dense to get it otherwise.

I think if the movie hadn't been so heavy-handed with it's message, I could have appreciated it a bit more. But I hate getting preached at, and that's exactly what I thought this movie was doing. And it kind of makes me sad that people saw it and were so moved by the message. How could you not be?

So yes, I did not like District 9. I realize I'm in the very small minority, but it is what it is. Justin is intent on debating it with me, but I'm not sure what could be said that would sway me. You're welcome to try as well Adrik.

Soooookie

I'm embarrassed that I'm writing this post. You see, I swore to myself I would never watch True Blood. First, I saw the unaired pilot and thought it was boring, and second, I despise the recent obsession with all things Vampire. I loved Buffy, and overall think vampires are kind of cool, but Twilight offends me, and its overwhelming popularity offends me even more. Because of that, I was just going to swear off anything that involved fangs for a couple years until the Twi-hards quieted down and everyone realized Kristen Stewart actually can't act her way out of a paper bag.

But sadly, I'm also a whore for peer pressure. If I hear people around me, whose TV opinions I respect (or at least tolerate. I'm looking at you, Adrik, for your Heroes watching ways) going on and on about how great a show is, I will give it a fair shot. So I bought (yes, actually PAID MONEY FOR) the first season of True Blood on iTunes and decided I'd start catching up on the plane ride.

Fucking Hell, I love it.

(I almost said "I was sucked in" but the punnage gave me indigestion this early in the morning.)

I'm not sure what I like about it, exactly. I'm not a huge fan of Sookie, although I don't dislike her. I'm not a huge fan of Bill, although hearing him say "Sookie Stackhouse" over and over again is a pure delight. Jason is sex-on-a-stick as Lafayette says, but watching him fight over these moral issues was interesting. Tara and Lafayette are both great characters. Tara's no nonsense is hysterical, and seeing that she's actually complicated is refreshing. Lafayette's AIDS Burger scene is one of my favorites. And while she's only a guest part in the first season, Maryane looks like she'll be fun. But I love Michelle Forbes in anything.

But the way these characters are written, and the storylines they are put to, are so interesting. The whole murder mystery of the first season took a back seat to exploring this new world. Watching Bill's vampire trial was cool, and seeing how the world would react to vampires is kind of interesting. I don't care for the whole effect of being staked, cause it's a little too gory for me, but in general I'm really digging this show and I cannot wait for the second season, which I hear is even better.

So I owe credit to Adrik and to TV Talk Podcast for getting me hooked. Thank you for showing me a great new show. This almost absolves Adrik of that Heroes debacle ;) I've started getting Season 2, and will probably tear through it this weekend. There go my plans of finishing Tsubasa Chronicle once and for all.

Sidenote: I love 13 episode seasons. They are much more condensed, leading to better storytelling, and they're easier to catch up on. Unless you're episodic, it's just too hard to drag a story arc over that many episodes. Not undoable, mind you, just very difficult.

Moon Pizza

On Tuesday, Justin and I went to see this:



So, what were your impressions of the trailer? Looks like a great psychological thriller in a sci-fi setting, doesn't it? Sort of Event Horizon-meets-Solaris-meets-Fight Club.

Too bad it's not. It's actually a Science Fiction Parable that touches slightly on the effects of long-term isolation, but in the end really doesn't have any overarching deeper meaning. It took me 3/4 of the movie to figure that out.

Justin put it very succinctly: It's like being told you're going to get tacos for dinner, and then it's pizza. It's not that you don't like pizza, but you were really looking forward to tacos. That's exactly how I felt this whole film. I kept waiting for the twist. But the only thing that might possibly be considered a twist is revealed in the first 20 minutes of the film, and it's really not that interesting. I kept going "OK, that's interesting, and..." and then the movie ended.

I'm not saying it's a bad movie, because it's not, but my sense of disappointment is so over-powering. Sam Rockwell does a very good job of playing essentially two different characters, and as an actor it was kind of cool to watch. The special effects were really good given the tiny budget they had. The story itself isn't really bad, either, although his hallucinations in the beginning are dramatically underplayed. The biggest fault of the movie is that it's nothing like that trailer, and it pisses me off.

Upon reflection I'm not sure how I would have made a trailer for this film either. It's an interesting film, I guess, but not exactly edge-of-your-seat, or really anything too new. It's an acting showcase for Sam Rockwell set in a moon-base. That doesn't draw in the casual viewer. I think I might recommend it to others, but only with the disclaimer to never see the trailer.

The Ramen Girl

This has been quite an interesting week for movies. First I saw Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, which isn't worth mentioning. Then I watched The Fall, which deserves it's own blog post because it's just awesome. And tonight I watched "The Ramen Girl," which was unwise. Not because it was bad (to be honest, it wasn't that great, either), but because it was so...Japanese.



Brittany Murphy plays Abby, a slacker youngin' who follows her boyfriend to Japan, only to find out he's not so interested in her. She feels lost and lonely when her sole purpose for existence moves to Osaka, and eventually wanders into a Ramen shop in the rain, where she just starts crying. The Japanese couple that runs the shop doesn't know what to do with her other than give her a bowl of ramen, which seems to heal her. She decides from then on that she will learn how to cook Ramen, and that she will have the マスタ of the shop teach her. He's predictably an asshole, but eventually they develop a mutual respect for each other (although he has a hard time showing it EVER, being as he's Japanese). The ending is unusual by Western standards, but I think it's very, very Japanese. And I'm sure anyone that never went to Japan would ask "What do you mean?" but I can't explain it without giving it away. I've already said too much.

I saw "Lost in Translation" before I ever went to Japan, so I don't really remember how Japanese it is. I watched it and thought it was so random, and kind of amusing, but the majority of the cultural significance was lost on me. But now I've been. I've lived there for two years. I'm dating a guy who is close to as Japanese as one can get without being actually Japanese. And about half an hour into this movie I realized what I was watching. It's an ode to things that are Great in Japan, but not karaoke or beer or crazy America love. It's all about the people.

Which sounds ridiculously cliche, but it's true. I was never one of the 外人バー foreigners. I didn't have many foreign friends (although I admit it was nice to relax around them every so often). I wanted to spend as much time with Japanese as much as I could, cause I could hang out with Americans here. I wasn't as successful as I would have liked, but still I tried. And the Japanese people are unlike people anywhere else. Which you can say about people from anywhere, so it's not exactly an earth-shattering revelation.

Although now that I think about it, while the movie is about the Japanese, I'm not sure that's what makes it Japanese. It's the whole attitude of the thing. About putting your heart and soul into something. About the power of food. About how there are things you have to do. I wonder how someone outside of the Japanese sphere of influence would perceive the thing.

I think I'm losing my train of thought, which makes the continuance of the post rather pointless. So I will go, leaving the reader with a recommendation to watch "The Ramen Girl" if he or she would like some insight into Japan, or if he or she would like to just reminisce. It's interesting, without a doubt.

Kings: Brotherhood

So first, HAPPY DANCE, Kings is back! Granted it's only so they can burn off the extra episodes before releasing them on DVD (which I've preordered), but still I'll take what I can get.

And honestly, I think they came back with a great episode. There were two main plots this episode, the first involving Jack and David crossing enemy lines on a secret mission and the second concerning the outbreak of plague (which is oddly topical, given the episode was filmed like 5 months ag0). I'll get to the specifics in a second, but two overall things I really wanted to commend this show on are the dialogue and the music. First, the tone of every sentence in this episode had a very regal feel. Not being anything close to a linguist, it's hard for me to describe exactly why it was so great, but it had a lot to do with unconventional sentence structure and word choice. I thought it was all very deftly handled. And then the music really created a great sense of tension. Usually I watch TV and never think twice about the score, but this week I was really wrapped up in it all. It all got a little spooky at times, which fit really well with the plague storyline.



David and Jack are sent on a "diplomatic mission" to kill an insurgent leader in Gath, until they get ambushed and have to get all guerilla warfare on things. They eventually find and capture the leader, which leads to some emotional scenes by Sebastian Stan as he more or less throws a tantrum to this complete stranger about David. Honestly, as much as I like Jack and tolerate (to use a term loosely) David, I thought both of them were a little weak. I just can't picture either of them as these fantastic soldiers, especially Jack. And Jack did come off a bit as a brat, which I did not care for at all. But the whole point of this storyline is to put two characters who are at odds with each other in a situation where they have to work together. It's been done a thousand times, but it was still interesting to see the final scene of the two men in the church. I honestly can't tell if Jack is happy or annoyed that David saved his life. Probably a bit of both, although it's always annoying to owe something to a person you detest. I see Jack as trying to do all of these things for David, none of which David wants, until they have a heart to heart and Jack realizes he just has to be a nice guy. We'll see how much of that happens in the last 5 episodes.

I'm not quite sure where to start on the plague storyline. I guess I'll start with the good parts and move on to the parts that annoyed the crap out of me. Silas was (as usual) awesome this week. Him dealing with the signs and portents was really cool, and played up the fantasy aspect of the show. I remember in the first episode, when there was a LITERAL crown of butterflies I was a bit put off by the heavy-handedness of prophecy, but this week it was much subtler. That bit with the candle was great, and the look on Silas' face when he realized who the "poison" was was great as well. The political intrigue parts of this show are where it really shines. Watching as Silas has to navigate these obstacles to his rule highlights Ian McShane's acting ability, and is probably the most engaging part of the series. And the fact that there is some higher power at work makes things all the more interesting. The viewer gets the feeling that Silas really does care for the people, and that he believes he is the best choice for King, and that he will do anything to keep his seat.

I also enjoyed watching Queen Rose deal with the Plague. When Silas said "there will be costs, to you more than others," she basically said "do what you have to do, my children come first." Makes you realize she is not to be trifled with, and I think if they ever let her go she'd level cities.

Now for the thing that pissed me off: Princess Puppy walking into quaruntine without so much as a SARS Mask on. I almost threw a shoe at my screen I was so angry; it is RIDICULOUSLY cliche. Does she not realize her position? Could she not put on at least some gloves and a hazmat suit (sidenote: Does she not care about infecting the kid further?)? Was I supposed to see this as noble or stupid? Are the writers trying to make me hate her? Yes, it's sad that the kid is sick and dying. And it was very nice of her to want to be with him. But someone needs to put a frigging leash on this girl as she is the damned PRINCESS of the country. Even if she's not in line for succession, she's still important, and if she gets killed bad things will happen. This is just as stupid as when she went in to 'negotiate' during the insurgence and got captured. Does she not have a personal guard? Does she not have common sense? I'd really like to see her learn a lesson at some point from all of this, but perhaps that's unrealistic. It is infuriating to me how great a character Silas is and how craptastic a character she is. Or maybe they're both craptastic, it's just Ian McShane is a hundred times better than Allison Miller.

The other thing that annoyed me, although clearly not as much as stupid, stupid Princess Puppy, was why Silas didn't kill his brother-in-law. Is it a "better the enemy you know..." situation? You KNOW this man is after your throne, and if it wasn't for luck and some clever maneuvering on your wife's part, would already have had you removed. Why not slit his throat and dump in a ditch somewhere and move on? Is there a maximum number of people that the King can have offed in one week? "Well, I've filled my quota this week, but just you wait!" I suppose it's good for the drama, and he IS your wife's brother, so I can let it slide this time.

So that was episode 6. I believe they shot 13 total, so we've got *maybe* 7 more before it gets yanked permanently. It still makes me sad, even if I saw it coming. And I'm not naive enough to think it might get picked up by a cable channel, although Sci-Fi or Showtime might have a fun go of it. I think if this show could be a bit more adult it might be more effective, too, but I'm not a TV executive. Mainly because I have taste. Oh snap.

Were the World Mine - Review!

Friday night I was able to catch a DVDrip (US DVD release is June 9th) and I loved it. For anyone that doesn't know, Were the World Mine is a feature film based on a short film called Faeries. It's about this boys boarding school that does a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream. Puck is played by the (seemingly) only gay kid in the school. During rehearsals he discovers a secret love potion within the pages of A Midsummer Night's Dream, and shortly everyone is falling in love with a member of the same sex. I should also point out it's a musical.

I've had the soundtrack for several months, and I've listened to it so many times I have the whole thing memorized. It helps that the main singer is about my range, so when I sing it (which I do all the time) I don't sound horribly off from the recording. Anyway, many of the lyrics are taken directly out of the original Shakespeare (I didn't actually check, so if it turns out that's not true, then whoops), and the songs themselves are great, I think. A lot of the bigger numbers are played as dream-ish sequences, but that means there also tend to be half-naked boys dancing around as faeries.

The movie itself is pretty good, certainly better than 90% of the gay-themed trash cinema. I like the main character, played by Tanner Cohen, and I was slightly drooling over his love interest Jonathan. Then again anyone with abs who can sing is pretty ok in my book. My biggest complaint about the film is that when some of the characters are "changed" they take on some pretty stereotypical behavior. The gym coach in particular gets a limp wrist and "clutches his pearls," which I find to be kind of annoying. But since he's not on the screen all that often, I'm willing to let it slide. Overall I think it's one of those movies that is fun to sit down and watch as long as you don't put too fine-toothed a comb to it. I'd say the same about Shelter and Latter Days, though, both of which I very much enjoyed.

Summer TV

Look at my earlier post about Fall TV!

I know I said there that there wasn't any summer TV I wanted to watch, but that was actually not true. Upon seeing this I realized that there's enough that it deserves it's own post.

Mondays
8pm Greek
10pm Weeds
10:30pm Nurse Jackie?

I might try and catch up on Secret Life of an American Teenager, as I've heard great things. But frankly I'm so backlogged on TV that may never happen. Can I just start watching season 2 and try and figure it all out? Really I'm just looking forward to a lighter than normal viewing schedule for a bit.

Tuesdays
8pm 10 Things I hate about You?
9pm Warehouse 13?

That's about it. I'm not even sure if I'll keep watching either of these, as I have yet to see the first episode. Yay another night to catch up on Chuck.

Wednesdays
8pm So You Think You Can Dance
10pm Top Chef Masters?

I love SYTYCD, so that's a given. As far as Top Chef, I'll watch it because Brian does, and because Neil Patrick Harris will be on as a guest judge at one point and I love him.

Thursdays
9pm SYTYCD Results show
9pm Burn Notice
10pm The Listener?
10pm Project Runway

I love Burn Notice, but it's a show I watch while I'm doing other things. Specifically while I'm playing games. I'm sure I miss out on a lot, but it's a fun summer show. I have no issues downloading it and watching it later. Listener is a show about a guy with telepathy, and I'm a sucker for a powers show. Maybe it will be better than Heroes. Well, that's not saying anything. Maybe it will be watchable. Runway doesn't start until August, so technically it's more of a fall show I think.

Fridays
9pm Eureka

Eureka doesn't start until July 10th, so it's going to be a slow couple of months. No complaints here.

Saturdays
8pm Kings
10pm Pushing Daisies

I've actually already seen all of the Pushing Daisies that are coming, but this show is so great it bears repeating. I'm really pissed that Kings is on Saturdays of all nights to get burned off. Put it on a Wednesday so at least people will see it and buy your fucking DVDs. Fucking NBC is really fucking up lately, and I'm kind of done with them.

Sundays
8pm How do you solve a problem like maria?
10pm Hung

I don't think I really get BBC America in my room, and besides the show is already over, but I may watch it if I get bored. Hung I'm watching because I like Thomas Jane, and it's about a giant penis. Really though I'm not going to plan my viewing night around a half hour comedy on Showtime. If I ever catch up on True Blood, and don't completely hate it, maybe I'll throw that in, but again I doubt it.

To be placed: Torchwood's week-o-episodes is coming up in July. There should also be the next Doctor Who movie at some point. And I'd love for the next season of Merlin to come out in the UK.

That's about it. It will be a quiet summer, but that's kind of nice after the Hell of last TV season. And the hell that will be Mondays and Fridays next season. Maybe I can finally catch up on things. That would be so exciting!

Plotting my TV Course

The best thing about up-fronts is trying to figure out a viewing schedule for the next season. Normally I'd talk about the new summer shows, but I think I'm lucky enough that the only new shows coming in the next two months are So You Think You Can Dance and Burn Notice. Mad Men starts in August, as does Greek, so I actually have a few months to catch up on things like Chuck and Gossip Girl. For future reference, I'm using this schedule.

Mondays
8pm Heroes/Chuck (Chuck switches in midseason)
8pm Gossip Girl
8pm How I Met your Mother
8pm House?
8pm Greek (when it returns)
9pm Day One?
9:30pm Big Bang Theory

Clearly there's a problem here. If they were at different times during the week, I would probably watch all of these shows. Seeing as they're not, I'm assuming a similar situation will occur next fall as occurred last fall: I will fall horribly behind and spend the summer catching up. To prioritize these, I will definitely catch HIMYM and Greek, as I love both of those shows. I think I will love Chuck, when I finally catch up with it. Gossip Girl is a guilty pleasure I enjoy watching, but it's rather low on the importance pole. House is a show I enjoy watching, but it's so procedural I have a hard time plotting my week around it. Heroes is...Heroes. God only knows if I'll watch this crap or not. Knowing me I will, and then bitch about it the whole time. I blame Adrik for my inability to quit this show. As for Day One, I'll give it a shot. I'm always up for some Post-Apocalypse, even if these shows never do particularly well. At least THIS pairing makes sense, rather than Kings on Sundays. And as for Big Bang, I'm kind of sad it won't be next to HIMYM in the 8pm hour, but then again there is so much else at that time I won't miss it.

Tuesdays
8pm So You Think You Can Dance
9:30pm Better Off Ted

Anyone that hasn't watched Better Off Ted, you are MISSING OUT. That show is hysterically dark. Odd time slot, though. Hopefully the scrubs lead-in will help. Of course I'm watching SYTYCD, but other than that Tuesdays are pretty quiet. Side note: I predict Past Life and the Forgotten will both tank after a month.

Wednesdays
8pm America's Next Top Model
8pm So You Think You Can Dance results
9pm Glee Glee Glee Glee Glee Glee

I thought about including "Eastwick" but I'm going to have to hear something about that before I start watching it I think. Model outranks SYTYCD, especially since Brian will hopefully be in the country by then. And the results are never as good as the performance show anyway. I'm curious about Modern Family, but nothing is going to beat out Glee. When Lost comes back, that will go in. I'm also curious about Parenthood, although it just seems like the NBC version of Brothers and Sisters. Hopefully it'll be better.

Thursdays
8pm Flash Forward
9pm Grey's Anatomy
9:30pm 30 Rock
10pm Project Runway

I love 30 Rock. It's one of the four sitcoms I watch. I'm very curious about Flash Forward, so I'll give that a go. If I ever catch up on Fringe or Supernatural (much more likely with Fringe, I might add) . Vampire Diaries is the type of teen crap show I would watch, but I kind of hate vampire shows. They're so over-done. I cna't really tell you why I keep watching Grey's Anatomy, other than it's popular. Short of Callie I dislike most everyone else, and I especially hate Derek and Izzie. Runway is back, which is awesome, and that's all that needs to be said.

Fridays
8pm Smallville?
9pm Dollhouse
9pm Southland
9pm Ugly Betty

Fuck you, Fridays. I know normally you'd look at that lineup and think "3 very different audiences" but not so. I've heard numerous blogs complain about these three shows all competing. Sadly, for me, I think Ugly Betty may lose out in the end. This past season was just not as great, and they focused a whole lot on characters I hate (Daniel, Betty) rather than characters I love (Willy, Marc, Amanda, Justin). Southland's season finale was pure awesome, so I'll definitely be back. And Dollhouse is top of the heap as long as next season is like the second half of this season. If they go back to lumping together their stand-alones I may be done.

Saturdays
Ha. Right.

Sundays
8pm Amazing Race
9pm Desperate Housewives
10pm Brothers and Sisters

Race is awesome. Housewives is crap, but I feel like after investing 5 seasons I have to see how it ends (IF it ends. Please God lets announce an end date). Brothers and Sisters will only get watched if there is a Scotty or Sarah-centric episode. The rest of them suck. This show also needs to end.

Other things that need to be slotted in as needed: Mad Men, Damages, Doctor Who, Friday Night Lights, United States of Tara, and things like V and Caprica and Stargate Universe, which don't start until later in the year.

I hate how everything has gotten crammed into Mondays and Fridays. I was never sure how some of these things survived Monday in the first place, and I'm really not sure what is going to survive on Fridays. My gut tells me Betty and Southland will both die slow deaths. FUCK YOU JAY LENO. I blame him for anything on NBC that dies due to a strange time slot. Except Heroes; I might congratulate him on that. *sigh* Why can't I make a living on this stuff?

Finale Round-up MEGA Post Part 2 - Season Finales

So as promised, here's part 2 of the Finales Round-up. This one really will be ridiculously long. So long in fact I'll have to write it as I get to it, so check back regularly.

*** Season Finales ***

Monday

How I Met Your Mother: Eh. It was OK.
I really like How I Met Your Mother, because I think it's a funny show. I thought this episode just wasn't that good, though. The goat wrestling was stupid, Lily hiding her pregnancy bump is awkward, and Marshall wanting to jump was just kind of silly. I love Barney and I like Robin, and I think their scene together was interesting, but I also got annoyed because I don't like that kind of person. And I also think I just don't care who the mother is. At least it's no longer a bubble-show.

Big Bang Theory: Amusing but not one of the best.
I think, for me, BBT is funnier than HIMYM. All the geek jokes are hysterical, and Penny and Sheldon are a comedy team for the ages. That being said, while this episode was funny (and better than the finale of HIMYM) it really wasn't one of their best. I don't care for the Penny-Leonard relationship tension. I think they're better as friends who joke about how that side of things didn't work out. I'll be interested to see how things turn out when they get back from the North Pole.

Heroes: Annoying.
Where to begin with this shit. Overall I think the finale was stronger than many other parts of the season. The storyline was tight and linear and there was a clear POINT to everything. However, considering that I found the rest of the season to be complete and utter shite, there's no real comparison. I realize they were going for a Major Twist! by killing off Nathan, but to have Sylar take over as Nathan is so mind-numbingly stupid I don't know what to say. Why didn't Peter shape-shift into Nathan, fake his death, and then we all move on, minus one scary-ass killer? Obviously the answer is that Mama Petrelli has some serious family baggage. I'll be glad when that comes back to bite her in the ass. After four seasons Milo Ventrimiglia still doesnt' know how to act. And on a geek-note, what the hell is Sylar's power? As I understood the lines of dialogue in these last few episodes, his power is to understand how things work. That's why he's so good at clocks. That makes sense as a power! I can even, albeit by making a HUGE leap of faith, understand how "knowing how things work" applies to human brains. I'm not sure, however, how he translates that into making his own brain work the same way. Or how Peter could then steal those powers. Mimic couldn't mimic himself to get more abilities. It's all stupid and weak. Claire became more likable towards the end, but I really wish the bitch would take some self-defense classes. I hate how Matt Parkman woke up one day and is suddenly Emma-Frost-Powerful, as Adrik put it. Even if he has that potential, at what point did he hone his powers? And why are there no old people with powers? This show really seems to be writing from the seat of it's pants, and the Heroes universe suffers greatly as a result. The real question is if I'll be back next season, and right now I don't know.

Chuck, Gossip Girl, Reaper: Haven't watched em yet.
My goal this summer is to catch up on Chuck and Gossip girl. They got lost in the fact that I was busy and Monday Nights were over-packed with shit.

Wednesday

America's Next Top Model: I'm too biased
As Brian pointed out, in all of these reality competitions I pick a few people I want to win, and then become blind to anyone else having a chance. In this case, I would have been happy with Celia or Allison (although I knew Celia wasWAY too old to be a model), so I was perhaps blind to Teyona's merits. I thought Allison was cute and quirky, and randomly Stepped it UP that last episode. Teyona I thought had a very strange face and I was upset that she messed up the commercial. But Brian said, and I agreed, that they wanted an African American to win this season, so I wasn't overly surprised. Brian tells me she's good, so I'll go with that.

Lost: Wow.
This show is interesting for me. It's not something I exactly plan my week around, because I only like maybe two of the characters, but it's still something I love to watch. The story is so complex that you have to watch it closely, and apparently I just happen to get the whole time travel thing better than most people. Which reminds me, why is it so damned difficult for the viewing public? People have a linear time line, TIME has a linear time line. At no point do they have to have the SAME linear timeline. If you take a blue string and a yellow string and tie them together in various places, does the string become Green? No. You still have a blue and yellow string, they just intersect in different places. There are paradoxes I'd be curious to see explained, but I don't think they're going to pull the "alternate timeline" card. I loved when Miles was like "Uhm, did it occur to any of you that WHAT YOU'RE DOING might be the incident?" And I hate how Juliet went. She was one of my favorite characters in the show, and then she had to go and fall for Sawyer, who loves Kate. Everyone loves Kate. WHY? She's not that pretty, she lies to everyone, she gets her panties in a twist about random shit. YOU CAN DO BETTER. I loved all of the Jacob Storyline, and how basically everything we've watched so far is this battle between Jacob and the evil thing pretending to be Locke. This final season will be quite something to watch, and I cannot wait. I feel a bit like I should go back and watch seasons 1-5, but I doubt I have that kind of patience.

Damages: Good, if a little rushed.
Overall I liked the first season more, but I thought this mystery was interesting. This show is so complex to say anything about it would ruin any kind of surprise. I actually had one of the surprises sort of ruined for me (although I wasn't surprised really). It's a really creative show, though, and I'm glad it's still on. I love these stories where the timelines are all weaved together and you really have to pay attention to figure out what's going on. And the fact that it's only 13 episodes means it's easy to catch up on!

Burn Notice: Not invested enough to have a real opinion
I like to watch Burn Notice, but I always watch it while doing other things, so I never have fully-formed opinins about the show. I'm glad Carla is dead, and I'm curious to see what Michael will do against the new big bad played by Fraiser's dad. That's all I've got.

Thursday

Grey's Anatomy: Meh.
This show has lost some of it's luster. It regains it occasionally, but I really don't think it's as good anymore. I'm not sure what it is exactly. Bailey is less feisty. Izzy is annoying as hell and I hope she's dead, as I think it would make for better drama for Alex to go through finally falling in love with a woman only to have her die. And then we can work on George's rehabilitation, which will give him actual screen time. I don't really care for Meredith and McDreamy, or Lexie and McSteamy, so there you go. I like Arizona and Callie together (even if I think Hahn got short shift), and I like McTrauma and Christina. But really, when you walk away from a cliffhanger of which two main characters might be dead and you cant' really be bothered, what does that say?

Ugly Betty: Happens Tomorrow.
Not expecting much, though. This season has been kind of crap. I do not like Matt at all, and Daniel is trying my last nerve.

Smallville: Horribly backed-up. This too will come with Chuck later on.

Friday

Dollhouse: Amazing
When Dollhouse first started, I was disappointed. It wasn't bad, exactly, but it wasn't Wonderful Super Fantastic Coolness Remarkable like I was expecting. But then came episode 6, and things really started to change. By the second half of the season I couldn't WAIT to watch this show. The storylines were all complex and tangled. And the finale was pure awesome. I loved Alpha (won't spoil that, since no one watches the show), and I loved the Whiskey reveal. I never liked November so I'm glad she's gone. I like that Ballard now works for the Dollhouse, but I feel like his conscience is going to get on my nerves real damn quick. Maybe they'll make him into a doll and have him be shirtless all the time. I thought "Omega" was also bad-ass, and it was interesting to see how no matter how good the doll, there is always a part of themselves underneath it all. And always, when I think we're about to stumble headlong into "No More Plot" because a character became too self-aware, they reset it, but not in a cheap way. Echo is still moving towards realization, but not at the break-neck speed that makes everything unbelievable. In short, this show suffered from it's lame schedule which was imposed on it by Fox. Stupid fucking Fox.

Friday Night Lights: Good end to an awesome season.
I was not feeling the second season of this show. I mean, it was still better than 90% of the shit on TV, but it was lacking somehow. This season on the other hand was amazing. The scenes with Coach fighting for his position were great. The scenes with Saracen trying to deal with his grandmother were great. The scenes with Jason Street going away actually made me cry. This is one of the best shows on Television, hands down, and if you're not watching you should be. Awesomeness.

Sunday

Amazing Race: Yay Team Deaf lost.
I don't care if it makes me a bad person, I did not like Luke. I thought he was a whiny punk who would get mad at anyone thinking he was handicapped until it was convenient for him to emphasize the point. Without his mother, he would have been out in the second week. I dont' think he was stupid, I don't think he was incapable, I just think he was a bitch. He CLEARLY pushed Jen and yet SHE was the bitch? Oh no. And I wasn't sad Tammy and Victor won. I hated them until week 3, and then they started to become much more likable. I liked Tammy a lot. The red-heads were just a bit too nasty to the locals for me, so I wasn't devastated that they came in second.

Desperate Housewives: This show needs to die
It's not so much that I didn't enjoy the finale (although to say I enjoyed it might be a little strong), it's just that the show is getting stale. I just dont' see that many good options left for the characters. Maybe if MJ had actually died I would be intrigued, but I'm not. I hate how Katherine is underused and whiny anymore. I hate how Lynette recovered from cancer and turned into a raging bitch towards Tom. I hate Susan just in general. Gaby and Bree are still interesting, but Bree is about to NOT be interesting if she doesn't get away from Orson and Carl. And what happened to Andrew and his wedding? This is another example of a bad cliffhanger. The "Who did Mike marry?" question just does not interest me at all. I could not care less if I tried. And all of it just makes me think they should make season 6 it, and create some big mystery, and wrap it up that way. And as a side-note, who was the character from seaosn 1 that came back? I can't recall anyone new in the show.

Brothers and Sisters: Why do I watch this?
The answer is because of Scotty and Sarah. Every single other character I find boring and whiny. This is another show that I think is past it's prime, and should call it quits after the next season. At least now that Tommy's gone it should be more bearable, as his character I've always felt was terrible. Maybe from now on I'll only watch if there is some definitive Scotty storyline going on.

So I think that about sums it up. I actually did it all in one setting, although the later reviews are weaker because I was just worn out. I also watch Dexter and Mad Men, but I'm just as behind on those as I am on anything else. Not enough hours in the day, I say!

Glee!

I know I have a whole long post to write about Season Finales, but I have to post about this first.

I am in love with Glee.

The Cast of Glee

This show is freaking awesome. It's about a small high school Glee club, and all of the misfits that join the group. The teacher, played by Matthew Morrison, was in the Glee Club when he was younger, and remembers it as the best time of his life. When he tries to start the club up again he realizes that things aren't quite that easy. There's the black diva, the handicapped kid, the gay kid, and asian girl with a stutter, and the perfectionist starlet. When it doesn't go well at first, the teacher (whose name I wish I could remember) decides he needs new guys, and stumbles across the quarterback singing in the shower. In a very amusing scene, he gets the football player to join the group, and they all start to bond over their love of song.

I admit, it sounds ridiculously gay. But it's such an entertaining cast, with great writing, that you can let it slide. And the songs are amazing, I think. I do not like Journey, but I've been singing "Can't Stop Believing" for two straight days now. In fact that scene actually made me so happy I got physically emotionally, which never happens to me. Those of you with Bit Torrent need to download it right now. Everyone else, you can find the songs on iTunes, and there are previews on YouTube (one of which I posted below).

Last night was just a preview, with the real series starting in the Fall. I'm very concerned because it's on Fox, which in my opinion has a horrible track record of shows. Renewing Dollhouse doesn't absolve it of cancelling Firefly and Wonderfalls, or of their complete lack of gay-visilibity on ANY of their shows. Adam Lambert doesn't count. But hopefully if they put this on after Idol or So You Think You Can Dance, it will carry over enough of the performance kids and stay strong. God I hope it does, as I'm getting really tired of these shows I love getting canned.

Finale Round-up MEGA Post Part 1 - Series Finales

As Adrik has been reminding me, I've been shit about the updates lately. I'm not really sure why I'm so busy, but it has a lot to do with my recent return to Final Fantasy XI. That shit is like cocaine, and I kick the habit for a few months until the white monster jumps on my back again. Anyway, between work and my new show and Jen's graduation party last week, I've been busy busy. Also, sometimes you just don't feel like blogging. Anyway, I want to do a rundown of the finales that have already happened. I'll put the series finales first, then the season finales. If someone could explain how to post links to JUMP to later parts of the article that would be great. WARNING: This is going to be a Mega Post.

***Series Finales***

Battlestar Galactica: Liked it.
This probably deserves it's own post, as it's a major finale for geeks everywhere. I'll admit that over time I've forgotten the things that annoyed me (the first 20 minutes, all that time when they first get to New Earth before people start disappearing) and I can focus on the things I loved (The attack on the colony, Roslin's death, Starbuck's disappearance). Roslin's death was awesome, except it was literally followed by a commercial break, so there was no time to absorb the emotion. It was like 'HORRIBLY EMOTIONAL SCENE 2 seconds MCDONALDS CM". Yuck. I know I'm in the minority that actually liked Starbuck's last scene. I thought it was so cool that she just stopped existing, implying that everything up until this point had been supernatural. So damned cool! I also liked that Head Six and Head Baltar are like angels, although the very final scene was a bit heavy handed. I enjoyed it, as long as I don't analyze it too much. So I'm sad to see this show go. It wasn't always great (Thank you season 3) but when this show was good, it was AMAZING. Notice how it got Bold, Italics, and Caps. Watching BSG was the first time I ever got chills from an hour of TV, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Which is why I've preordered the bigass Complete Series Box set. God knows where I'll put it. There might be more to say about this, but I feel like the SciFi did all the "goodbye BSG" shit to death.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Liked it. Ish.
I had to think about how I felt about this. I didn't dislike it, but I'm not sure I necessarily liked it. For one thing I hate, hate, hate when they cancel a show AFTER it's finished shooting, so we never get closure. It's one thing to not renew it halfway through a season, so TPTB have time to cram something together, even if it's not as epic as what they might have planned. But to just cancel something without any sort of warning I find to be reprehensible. Especially when that something has a hard-core geek following, cause those Geeks will tear you to pieces. I'd bitch about Fox now but they renewed Dollhouse so they've won some points. Overall I think this show was good, although it got significantly better second season. At first I only liked Cameron, but this season I also started to like John a bit. Sarah annoyed me, and Derek was just alright. I loved the Red head, although I think she was a bit stiff (and not because she was a robot). I'll always mourn the passing of decent Sci Fi, but I think this show was about to get into some serious Time Travel stories, and the time line is already muddled enough. I think Time Travel is really cool, but has to be handled in a very specific way, or else you get paradoxes left and right. OR you get 200 alternate timelines, which is what Sarah Connor was starting to do. That shit gets horribly confusing because you never know who's from which timeline, and then you have to do some major event to consolidate them (a la Crisis on Infinite Earths). So all in all I will say I liked this series and will miss it next season.

Kyle XY: Liked it except for the cliffhanger
I already spent a post talking about this, so we're done. I'm not even going to tag this.

Pushing Daisies: Loved it
This show was so great. I didn't always love the characters (Ok, I really didn't like Chuck at all. And I didn't like Ned when he was mooning over Chuck) but the storylines were always cute and the general atmosphere of the show was fantastic. This cemented my love of Brian Fuller that had started earlier with Wonderfalls (I even caught the crossover. I'm that TV-Geeky). I think it was just a little bit too quirky to gain wide-spread acclaim, but I'm glad it lasted two seasons. I'm waiting for a "Complete Series" set to be released before I buy it (although what if there isn't one and it goes out of print? That's my current Big Fear regarding cartoons, which is why I've spent a fuckton recently buying DVDs before they die). Anyone that hasn't caught the first season at least should really try. I think there were only like 22 episodes of this show total, split over two seasons, so it's not hard to catch up. It's cute and unlike anything else on TV. And Kristen Chenowith and Chi McBride are GENIUS, especially together.

Those are all of the series finales I can think of, but I'll post more if I think of any. And as I must go home now, I'll save the Season Finales for another post. It's probably better to break them up anyway, as I watch so much damn TV.

It's Star Trek!!!!

That was awesome.

I now run the risk of overselling this movie, and then I will lead a legion of unimpressed followers in my wake and it will make me sad. So, how can I sum up this film without having a nerdgasm all over the keyboard?

Great Action.
Awesome special effects.
Believable plot.
Great casting and characters.
And plenty of one-liners and subtle nods to Trekkies everywhere. Including Tribbles.

I'll admit, I'm biased to this movie. But in both ways. I love science fiction, especially Star Trek. I now own the complete TNG, DS9, and Voyager, as well as 6 of the movies. But I also hated the original series, specifically Kirk (to be honest, when I went and watched the Original Series, I actually enjoyed all the storylines that weren't completely centered on William Shatner. Which by season 3 was none of them.). But Chris Pine did an outstanding job as Captain Kirk. He has all the bravado and bravery, without any of the overacting and smugness. I actually like all of the new casting, so I don't need to go character by character. All in all each character got face time (although not as much as Kirk and Spock). I really enjoy how they make room for this story in the overall Trek canon (it's sneaky, but believable for me), and I also enjoy how it's left open-ended (i.e. they don't all die and the Enterprise flies again. Prolly not a huge shock).

There are probably issues with the movie that a second viewing will reveal, but I don't want to get into them right now. Suffice to say go see this movie. Even if you're not a Trekkie, go see it. It's a fantastic summer blockbuster and I hope it makes a ton of money.

And as a side-note, there was no "secret scene" after the credits. I always hate when movies sneak those in and no one tells me, so I wait until the end of the credits and 9 times out of 10 I'm disappointed because I just wasted 5 minutes of my life waiting for the MPAA symbol. So I am sharing now that there is no secret scene.

Dollhouse: Needs

Since Brian is back in the States, I'm so horribly behind on TV it's not even funny. I used to use the weekends to catch-up, but I don't have those anymore so shit is starting to pile up on my computer. It also has something to do with me watching more TV live now, rather than on my computer. 20 minutes lost to commercials for every hour of TV adds up.

So that's why I just got to episode 8 of Dollhouse last night. The story centers on TPTB at the Dollhouse trying to fix some of the little problems that have been cropping up lately. Namely the actives starting to develop personalities, which clearly doesn't gel well with the Tabula Rasa that is necessary for their line of "work." They develop this scenario in which to fix the problems, but it would be spoiling a plot twist if I say what the scenario really is.

So the four main actives that we've seen all wake up suddenly aware of who they are. They lack their previous memories, but they act like normal people, with all the required "What the fuck is going on here?" reactions. You watch as these normal people react to the Dollhouse, and then we get to watch them escape.

There are a couple of things that make this episode great. First, the dialogue, especially from Victor. It's the usual intelligent, witty remarks that we've come to expect from Whedon. And the lines that the more serious characters have are also really great, like the doctor's speech in the meeting (revealed at the end of the episode). Second, they really explore the moral issues that viewers have been squawking about since the show premiered. How much can the actives complain if they knew what they were getting themselves into, and even volunteered for it? Interesting moral dilemma. Third, the end scene answered my question about how they'd keep this show going for multiple seasons. They manage to prolong the storylines, but I found it to be quasi-believable and am more than willing to go along for the ride. There was a fourth but it seems to have escaped me at the moment. Maybe that I enjoyed when they showed Victor with his ass-less chaps.

So Yay to Dollhouse for not disappointing. I was never unhappy with the show, just not as wowed as I expected to be (which seems to be the prevailing critical opinion). I expected to plug into the first episode and love it from the get-go, but it took a little bit of warming up. I think it's really beginning to hit its stride, and I'm curious to see where it goes in the future. I had this sudden brilliant flash that later in the series, Ballard does something horrible, like kills someone, and he chooses to become a Doll. Could be interesting.

I hope this show does get renewed. Especially because so much else seems to be on the bubble. Fucking Jay Leno and his stupid fucking prime-time talk show.

Kyle XY redux

Oh Kyle XY. Now that I've had a few weeks to process (and forget parts of) the final season, I realize that I really miss this show. It had its stumbles, especially in the last season, but overall I enjoyed that this random little sci-fi show was on ABC Family. Or more to the point made ABC Family. Before Kyle, I think everyone associated ABC Family with 7th Heaven reruns. After Kyle, we have more mature fare such as Greek (which is amazing and everyone should watch) and Roommates (which sucks balls, but they had a 5 minute masturbation gag in the first episode, so yeah, adult). I even here Secret Life of an American Teenager is worth watching. So I have to give props to Kyle XY for that.

And really, overall the plots were interesting. I had issues with the specifics, but more because they were cliches than anything else. The whole secret society out to get Kyle was intriguing, and his powers were always cool. When they first introduced Jessie, I was kind of bleh about her character, but in the last few episodes she became really fun. And watching her flirt with Kyle was sweet, in a messed up kind of way. I'm just sorry we didn't get a resolution. I'd love a TV movie to come in and wrap up some of the loose ends, but who knows if we'll get that.

Yeah, this is a half-hearted recap, I realize. It's not that I don't like the show, I just don't like it as much as I once did. But I raised a glass to its finale, and now it has its own blog post.

Latest Kings Review

Kings: Insurrection

I will be so sad when this show goes off the air and I don't have a show to review online anymore.

Kings Review!

http://www.givememyremote.com/remote/kings-a-mission-to-save-the-kingdom/

http://www.givememyremote.com/remote/kings-prosperity/ Wooooot!

Too bad the show is doing really, really crappy in the ratings.

Kings!!

So I have decided to make an official push to keep Kings on the air. I'm not sure how official it can be seeing as I have absolutely no clout whatsoever, but this is a show that I think needs to be allowed to develop for awhile longer.

For those of you that haven't watched it (which, given the ratings, would be a large majority) the story is set in the fictional kingdom of Shiloh. King Silas rules by divine right (bestowed upon him by a crown of butterflies, allegedly) and the country is currently at war with Gaff. Or Gath, I'm not entirely sure, since the sound on my TV sucks. The basic plot of the first two hours is that some soldiers get captured, and this young soldier goes to rescue them, and in the process becomes a national hero.

What's great about this show though is that the basic plot is by far not the only plot. Subplots include an illegitimate heir to the thrown, a crown prince with a secret, and a plot by the King's Brother-in-law to stay in power whatever the cost. Each plot is interwoven together, and I think the actors are doing a great job with the material they are given. I especially thought Jack did a great job with his storyline. *Spoiler Warning* I knew there was a gay character in the series that was unveiled in an "interesting" way, so I was kind of looking for it, but even if I hadn't been there is very little doubt after the first scene of Jack in the club where he stands. I think he and Ian McShane did a terrific job on the steps. You could see in his eyes this terror and hatred and agony when the King tells him what he knows. A lot of people are claiming Jack is this stereotypical character, and I don't believe he is. He's clearly fucked up in the head given his position and feelings, and it is expected that that would drive him to act out, but I don't think he's going to be the stereotypical villain. That title goes to the brother-in-law.

And Ian McShane did a terrific job the whole episode. That man can give a look that stops you in your tracks. See: when that chancellor stood up before his King.

Which leads me to my only complaint with this series: Some of the story elements are not handled with the most subtlety. The scene in the first ten minutes, when the religious guy (priest? cleric?) shows up at the David's farm and seemingly anoints him. That was just a little weird for me. And I don't even want to get started on the final scene of the second hour. I know they are trying to drive home a point that David is actually the destined King, but I would have appreciated something a little subtler that was left open to interpretation. I'm willing to forgive some of these things as necessary to set up the series. Like, they had to beat you over the head with the fact that David is destined so that they can be more subtle with his arc later on.

Also, I found a few of the plot points to be slightly obvious (namely who was responsible for the ambush. As soon as Jack came back and said "We had support" I knew where that story was headed). Again I'm willing to forgive some of these things as they set the stage. If they continue though, I'll get a little annoyed.

I think really, I came away from the episode not knocked off my feet with how amazing it was (a la Alias) but very, very intrigued to see where it goes next. My crusade to save the show is driven more by the fact that I don't want it to be cancelled prematurely. I hate when something new and original and entertaining gets dumped in favor of Extreme Makeover Home Edition and the Simpsons. Personally I think NBC should scrap Heroes and play Kings in its timeslot. The fantasy/sci-fi angle would match up sort of well with Chuck, and honestly Heroes is past its prime, but that's a whole other post waiting to happen.

In short, PLEASE WATCH.

Watchmen

Having read the book, I was expecting a long, pretentious, slow-moving storyline, and I was pleasantly surprised that the movie managed to avoid two of the three. Clocking in at almost 3 hours, Watchmen is anything but short, especially when one drinks a whole soda and has to pee for the second half of it. But I thought the movie managed to move faster, and be more interesting, than the book was. I don't know if it was the Black Freighter sections in the book that made the whole thing drag, or if it was the weird monster plot of the end, or if I just didn't like the art, but I walked away from the book kind of meh about the whole thing. The amount of hype that the book had going into it also didn't help. Nothing is that super fantastic coolness remarkable, especially if you hear from a hundred different places that it is that super fantastic coolness remarkable. Maybe I read it too long after the anti-super-hero had already become commonplace, who knows.

But overall I really enjoyed the movie. The action scenes were great (although the first one I found to be annoying as it more than a little indicated who the killer was. It was awesome, but kind of erased any doubt). The rest of the film moved along pretty well. I liked that they changed the ending, because I found the ending in the book to be kind of odd. I also liked how close to the book the movie was. Which sounds like a contradiction since I just said how much I disliked the book, but I like when movies are more literal interpretations of books, but with wiggle room for a widespread, public audience (this is why I hated Harry Potter 3 and 5). I found Dr.Manhattan to be less annoying in the movie, also. He never seemed so aloof to me in the book as belligerent, but Billy Cudrup did a great job of showing ever facial tic. I also liked Rorschach a lot more in the movie than the book. All in all the characters seemed much better developed, probably because the development of the story requires a degree of emotion that Moore's words did not capture for me. So in the end, I enjoyed the movie. It's probably the best movie I've seen this year (although Slumdog and Milk were both excellent. Sidenote: I hated the Wrestler).

Trailer Round-up: Seth Rogan as a mall cop? No thank you. Terminator? I'll see it, but not opening weekend. Star Trek? I don't want to like it, but I'll be there opening weekend. Wolverine? Same story as Star Trek.

Kyle, what big electrified hands you have...

My reaction to Kyle XY this week can best be summed up with "Ugh". Everything I predicted would happen two weeks ago went ahead and happened this week. Kyle got all crazy-pants on Amanda without actually explaining his secret, and she understandably freaked. But what annoys me about this storyline is not that she freaked, because while I didn't like it I knew it was coming from a mile away. What annoys me is that the situations the characters kept finding themselves in were utterly RIDICULOUS and impossible to believe. I now present examples:

A) Josh's general horniness: I don't mind that the boy was horny. He's a teenager who just had sex for the first time, and really just saying "Teenager" should have been a good enough qualifier. But looking at porn without locking his door? It's not like he hit puberty last week, he should know to lock his door by this point. And watching porn in the middle of the family room in the middle of primetime? REALLY?! Everyone gets pent-up, but that doesn't mean you abandon all sense just to get off whenever possible. And the resolution to his storyline was SO STUPID. "I realized I just really miss talking to her". Ugh. Poorly written. Although the shit you can get away with on ABC Family these days is incredible: Holding a pillow over your lap when you stand up after watching porn? Wow. Also, I was taken out of the scene of Josh looking at the magazine in his room, because the point Jessie walked in on was just awkward. Who stands next to the bed with his jeans around his ankles and his boxers still on and yet not excited? Just weird. And who the hell extends their vacation by 3 weeks? Apparently lesbians. And what hte hell season is it supposed to be? I guess summer now that I think about it, but it's kind of disorienting.

B) Jessie being hated: I thought Jessie was actually the high point of this episode, which is why I was so annoyed that everyone had a problem with her. Yes, she has super hearing and no social skills to speak of. So PLAN AHEAD. It was one thing with Kyle because they didn't know him going in, but they should know by now what to expect. If I was her I would have slit my wrists in Kyle's tub and written "You should have loved me" on the floor in my own blood. And Nicole and Stephen were so weak in their "remember Kyle" shit. I'm still foggy why Jessie got the room and Kyle had to move in with Josh. Nicole hasn't done any serious psychology work in years, can't she just move into the family room or something?

C) Kyle, in general: This is the most upsetting thing for me, because I always liked Kyle. Sure he was painfully self-righteous at times, but you could attribute a lot to his naivete at first, and then a bit to his earnestness to learn about his past. But after all this time, he's been around too long to still be 'naive', and he's still earnest to save Amanda, but he's going about it ridiculously backwards. First, I appreciate he loves Amanda, but is he dead from the neck down? I don't think Jessie is overly attractive but a boy looking at a real life naked girl for the first time should illicit SOME kind of response. Like "Oh that's where the penis goes". And then he's determined to help Amanda, which I think is great, but KISSING JESSIE seems like a good plan? Come on Kyle, you're not this stupid. And again, LOCK THE GOD DAMNED DOOR. And then he's like "I can explain" and Amanda is all "No you can't" and he's like "oh, ok". Uhm, what? Shake her and say "LISTEN BITCH. See this belly button that I don't have? See what happens to the lights when I close my eyes and put on my "thinking" face? Maybe, just maybe, you don't understand what's going on." This is exactly what I knew would happen, and it pisses me off that, if the writers were really going to go there, they had to go there in such an unimaginative way. And WTF was with Amanda not going "Uhm, why the fuck are your hands sparking?" If I saw electricity arcing off of my boyfriends fingers, I'd have some questions. The only upside I can see to this whole stupid storyline is that I hear Kyle goes to a bar next week to drown his sorrows. Except he goes with Josh and Declan, so yuck.

Other minor things that annoyed me: Why is Declan just the "girls don't make sense" guy now? Hasn't he earned a better spot than 'Dude, don't ask me, look at my situation. I make out with my ex-girlfriend's best friend and they both flip. Bitches are CRAZY'? How the hell does Lori know where to find nerd-boy in a giant college campus? And how does she just magically wind up there right as he's leaving? I went to college, and I couldn't run into people I was trying to find. Can they find a better villian than this creepy british guy with the longish hair? He's just kind of stupid. And can Jessi get over her Kyle crush quickly? Because I'm done with that shit.

It's all just frustrating. This show was never perfect TV, but now it's just disappointing, which really annoys me. Especially because I really enjoyed the season premeire. As with anything else (Heroes, Grey's Anatomy) I'll probably keep watching with hopes that it gets better.

A book review. Several, in fact.

First let me point out this is my 93rd post on this blog, and I will probably forget about 100 until I'm at 102 and the magic has passed. I realize that I'm the only one who really cares if I get to 100 posts, but it is a milestone that should be noted. Second, let me say that I'm six kinds of exhausted ;) and this may not be as witty as I'd like it to be. Instead I'll go for heartfelt.

So, even though I watch TV like it's my job, I do read occasionally. Never anything that could ever be classified as "great" or "classic", but still pages with words and no pictures do pass my line of sight. I recently finished Brisingr, which was the third book in the Inheritance Used-to-be-trilogy-but-thanks-to-bad-writing-is-now-Cycle, by Christopher Paolini. It was alright, which is the same way I'd describe all of his books. The plot is kind of easy to predict, mainly because it's unoriginal. It's an enjoyable read, and not too difficult. I like the dragons and the way magic works. My biggest problem is I find the Eragon character to be just like every other young male farmboy-turned-warrior character out there. It's just sort of disappointing. So to sum up: Enjoyable read, but nothing earth-shattering.

The next book I read is called Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan. He was also a co-author on Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, if you were curious. This is my new favorite book EVER. It's just a 'Young Adult' novel, so there's nothing too deep in it, but I really, really enjoy the story. It's so...whimsical, for lack of a better term. Not like it's set in the land of Faerie or anything, but listening to the main character's views on the world so echo what I want my views on the world to be. And reading it helped me to understand my motivations for some shit in high school. That sounds kind of ridiculous when I read it back. I loved it so much I read it a second time right after I finished it, which I've never done that before. And I also went out and bought a copy. To sum up: Cute, awesome, happy. Good times.

Most recently I read Someday this pain will be useful to you by Peter Cameron. I don't really understand the gay Young Adult fiction kick I've been on the past few weeks (I also read Geography Club by Brent Hartinger, but don't feel like reviewing it out of laziness rather than it being bad. It was decent enough), but it will pass in time. Anyway, if Boy Meets Boy is who I want to be, Someday... is who I'm afraid that I am. The kid has a horrible time dealing with the world around him, and as a result just doesn't want to. It has shades of Catcher in the Rye, although sometimes i got the impression he was trying to hard to achieve those shades. I can relate to the main character, although he's a bit more emotionally isolated than I ever have been. To sum up: Interesting read with enjoyable, if slightly depressing, observations.

I'm such a sap for teen drama. I'm really a sap for any kind of romantic-type drama. I'm such a freaking girl. but everyone already knew that.