District 9

So. For those of you that haven't heard, there is a new movie out called "District 9." The basic premise of the story is that aliens have landed in Johannesburg and are basically treated like shit by humans. It's pretty easy to tell from the trailer that one human starts to relate to the aliens (who look like giant bugs and are called Prawns). Here's the trailer:



So, my review. Spoilers abound, so just be aware.

First let me acknowledge that this movie has gotten great reviews. Rotten Tomatoes lists it as having "all the elements of a thoroughly entertaining science-fiction classic." I love science-fiction, so I went into this movie expecting to love it, or at least be "thoroughly entertained."

Can you tell by my tone yet that I wasn't?

Now, I readily admit that going into this movie, I was tired and achy. And to sit with my mom, I was in the front row for the first ten minutes of the movie, which means about two feet from the screen. 60% of the movie is shot in Shaky-cam. Or as the douchebags like to say, "Documentary style." I was about ready to throw up after those ten minutes, at which point I moved further back. But even further back, I found the camera work to be very intense. I actually had to close my eyes at one point to calm my brain. And also, it felt a bit like the cinematographer was experimenting throughout the film. Some of it was documentary style, some of it was end-of-rifle-cam, and some of it was traditional camera work. I really, really wish he had just picked one, and I really wish whichever one he had picked was NOT end-of-rifle cam.

And I'm well aware that this may have influenced my opinion of the movie, and I decided I would look for things I enjoyed about the movie. After all, everyone loved it, didn't they? I was clearly missing something. So about halfway through the movie, I decided I was going to find something to like about this movie. And I did! The effects were great. I thought the aliens were well done, and once they started blowing shit up with the alien guns and the giant alien robot, I was laughing my ass off. Something about human beings exploding like water balloons. And when the robot picked up a PIG and threw it at a guy I guffawed. Probably pissed a lot of people off when I did that.

But when I take a step back from the OMG COOL ROBOT, I find the plot to be lacking. I mean, it's got lots in it, but none of it seemed very original to me. In fact the only plot development that surprised me was that they didn't kill off Christopher or his son. I thought sure one of them was going to get it.

And really, the fact the I see the plot as unoriginal makes it all the more obivous that the movie spent it's entire length beating you to death with its message. And that message consists of three bullet points:

1. Apartheid is bad.
2. Don't judge a book by its cover
3. Humans are evil

Sure glad I paid $10 to have that message reiterated for the 200th time in my life. It's not that any of these messages are bad, but I want them to be far more cerebral than they were. Like, the Apartheid bit could have been less obvious had the movie been set ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD. Johannesburg? Really?

Point 2 and 3 are actually connected. The longer explanation is "Oh look, these aliens are so ugly and buglike, but they care for their children just like we do! Oh look, those are the humans trying to make life better for the aliens, but really they just want to exploit them for their weapons so we can kill each other faster!" I get it. Human beings are scum. That's been true for millenia. And we need ugly fucking aliens to show us just how bad we are, as a sort of counterpoint, because apparently we're too dense to get it otherwise.

I think if the movie hadn't been so heavy-handed with it's message, I could have appreciated it a bit more. But I hate getting preached at, and that's exactly what I thought this movie was doing. And it kind of makes me sad that people saw it and were so moved by the message. How could you not be?

So yes, I did not like District 9. I realize I'm in the very small minority, but it is what it is. Justin is intent on debating it with me, but I'm not sure what could be said that would sway me. You're welcome to try as well Adrik.