Twilight Drinking Game, borrowed

http://zippytheavenger.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-Drinking-Game-100591794

It's hard to come up with a better drinking game than this one, but I'll give it a go eventually.

I posted it below, in case it ever disappears off of DeviantArt.

The Twilight Drinking Game

by Zippytheavenger

Because to get through that movie, you’re gonna need to be sloshed.


Take a sip when…

-Bella flips her hair
-Edward once again claims that he is dangerous
-Edward tells Bella to stay away from him, then stalks her anyway
-Bella bitches and whines about something for no reason
-Something happens in slow-motion with soft piano music
-Stephenie Meyer’s attempt at emotional writing turns into sappy ridiculous dialogue that would make any rational person LOL
-Some poor pathetic teenage girl sets herself up for disappointment


Take a drink when…

-Edward saves Bella from something
-Bella’s behavior is weak and antifeminist
-The filmmakers try to use special effects and snappy editing to disguise that there is no plot to speak of
-Edward acts like a controlling, possessive butt nugget
-Bella ALLOWS Edward to act like a controlling, possessive butt nugget because she’s a pathetic dumbass who lets Edward do whatever he wants and treat her like a child because, gosh, he’s so beautiful and Adonis-like teehee!
-Somebody hits on Bella because she’s OMG SO PRETTY WTF HAPPYRAINBOWS
-Bella stares at Edward longingly although she doesn’t know him and he has shown her nothing but disgust and contempt
-Edward does something that we are supposed to think is ‘sweet’ or ‘romantic’ but is actually stupid as hell
-Jacob struggles in vain to get Bella’s (or the audience’s) attention

Take two drinks when…

-Bram Stoker spins in his grave
-Alice gives a makeover or has a vision, because she exists only to be useful to the male characters
-Rosalie gets a flattering closeup or nice lighting, because she exists only to be beautiful, and therefore useful to the male characters
-Esme acts like the archetypal mother figure on her way to fetch Carlisle a beer and his slippers
-Carlisle acts like the archetypal father figure on his way to act like the stereotypical hot doctor
-Angry feminists throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Angry writers throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Angry vampire fans throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Something that should NEVER EVER EVER sparkle does so


Chug your drink when…

-Robert Pattinson’s concentration slips to momentarily reveal the shame and self-loathing he is feeling.


Throw your drink up in the air and dance for joy in the unlikely event that…

-The Cullens act like REAL vampires and rip all of the humans limb from limb.
-Edward goes out in the sunlight thinking he will sparkle and instead burns to a greasy black crisp. Slowly and painfully.
-Bella sprouts and brain AND a spine.
-You unlock the secret to time-travel and use the technology to go back and push Stephenie Meyer in front of a bus before she ever has the chance to write this drivel.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - The Drinking Game

This movie was such garbage that the only thing I can do is come up with a drinking game to help dull the pain. With Adrik's help, we've compiled the following list:

Warning: Spoilers ahead.

1) Every time the canon is blatantly disregarded, take a shot.

2) Every time someone is shirtless, take a drink.

3) Take a drink for every random power they give a character that a character is not supposed to have, or don't give a character that they are supposed to have. See: Emma not being telepathic, Gambit telekinetically moving the cards, Deadpool in general.

4) Every time Wolverine is referred to as Logan by people who know him only as James, take a drink.

5) Take two drinks every time the movie is more than a little homoerotic.

6) Take a drink every time the special effects are so bad they actually illicit pain. Bonus: Take two when you see Youngified Patrick Stewart.

7) Take a drink the first time you notice the nationality of a famous character changes. See: Emma Frost. Bonus: Take a drink every time Gambit's accent slips.

8) Take a drink every time you feel like you missed an important scene. Like when Gambit suddenly vanishes and shows up not 2 minutes later down the block on a rooftop.

9) Take a shot when a character without healing abilities manages to do something ridiculous and not die. See: Again, Gambit. Jumping off a building.

10) Take a shot whenever two characters that are unrelated in the comics are magically made to be siblings.

11) Take a drink whenever there SHOULD be blood on Wolverine's claws but inexplicably isn't.

12) Take a shot every time a character shows up and the only explanation you can come up with for their presence is that a fanboy wrote this shit.

13) When Wolverine gets the Amnesia Bullet, take three shots in the hopes that you will also forget everything that just happened.

Sadly, even with my changing several of them from "shots" to "drink" you still won't make it past the first ten minutes of the film.