"I like the boys to be boys"

Tonight was the season premiere of So You Think You Can Dance Season 5, and as with any SYTYCD premiere, there were lots of really great dancers and really bad dancers. This show is a ton of fun, but I have a very serious problem with one thing: Nigel Barker. More specifically, his rampant homophobia.

Tonight in the premiere, there was a pair of two men who were dancing Ballroom together. They explained in their intro that they had originally had female partners, but it didn't work out, so now they partnered with each other. They came on the stage in typical ballroom performance costumes (think sparkles) and danced with each other. They took turns being the lead to showcase their talent, and they did alright. Towards the end they messed up a lift and both fell over, but they recovered alright. Overall they did passably. I would have put them through to choreography (and before I begin my rant, I should say they did go through to choreography). For those of you unfamiliar with the show, during the first audition weeks, you can either go straight through to the semi-finals, or they put you in choreography to see how you handle other stuff. It's better than a rejection, and it means they think you have potential.

Now for the rant. Mitch and Mischa (the two male dancers) finished their dance, and went up for judging. Immediately Nigel started in with "I don't know what to say. I prefer the boys to look like boys and the girls to look like girls." No comment about their dancing. Just that he prefers traditional gender roles for both partners. Are we really still that stuck in the past? I'm not saying the pair had to be put through. I thought they were passable but not anything amazing and unheard of. But Nigel's comments very much came off as him not being able to buy two men dancing a romantic dance together. If they're fighting, or trying to one up each other, that's fine, but love? Hell no. If you don't like effeminate men, why not have a dance routine with two strong men loving each other. Make them two soldiers from Iraq and have it be a commentary on Don't Ask Don't Tell. Have it be two football players. Have it be a lyrical hip-hop routine about the difficulty of gender roles in a same-sex relationship. SO MANY OPTIONS. But no, dancing must be a Man and a Woman.

If it had just been this routine, I would have shrugged it off as Nigel being so distracted by their bad technique that he blamed their same-sex-pairing. But Nigel has a history of expecting exceedingly traditional things out of his dancers, and I'm tired of it. This show is so great, but it also gets so stuck in certain ways of thinking. I'm not saying we should throw away traditional dance, because there is some amazing stuff out there for mixed couples. But I also don't think we should ignore all of the possibilities for same-sex couples. And if you're not going to include them can't we at least NOT making derogatory comments about them? This is 2009. 5 states have approved Gay Marriage. We almost had a gay American Idol (unless Adam is faking it and he's straight. Which I'm beginning to think might be true). We are far past this kind of homophobia, especially in the entertainment world. And shame on the producers of this show for not setting a better example for all of the young and confused boys and girls who love dance out there. You can't pick and choose when you're going to tell a finalist's story.

But why am I surprised? This is Fox. When the best portrayal of a gay couple happens on The Simpsons, how can any of us be surprised?

Finale Round-up MEGA Post Part 2 - Season Finales

So as promised, here's part 2 of the Finales Round-up. This one really will be ridiculously long. So long in fact I'll have to write it as I get to it, so check back regularly.

*** Season Finales ***

Monday

How I Met Your Mother: Eh. It was OK.
I really like How I Met Your Mother, because I think it's a funny show. I thought this episode just wasn't that good, though. The goat wrestling was stupid, Lily hiding her pregnancy bump is awkward, and Marshall wanting to jump was just kind of silly. I love Barney and I like Robin, and I think their scene together was interesting, but I also got annoyed because I don't like that kind of person. And I also think I just don't care who the mother is. At least it's no longer a bubble-show.

Big Bang Theory: Amusing but not one of the best.
I think, for me, BBT is funnier than HIMYM. All the geek jokes are hysterical, and Penny and Sheldon are a comedy team for the ages. That being said, while this episode was funny (and better than the finale of HIMYM) it really wasn't one of their best. I don't care for the Penny-Leonard relationship tension. I think they're better as friends who joke about how that side of things didn't work out. I'll be interested to see how things turn out when they get back from the North Pole.

Heroes: Annoying.
Where to begin with this shit. Overall I think the finale was stronger than many other parts of the season. The storyline was tight and linear and there was a clear POINT to everything. However, considering that I found the rest of the season to be complete and utter shite, there's no real comparison. I realize they were going for a Major Twist! by killing off Nathan, but to have Sylar take over as Nathan is so mind-numbingly stupid I don't know what to say. Why didn't Peter shape-shift into Nathan, fake his death, and then we all move on, minus one scary-ass killer? Obviously the answer is that Mama Petrelli has some serious family baggage. I'll be glad when that comes back to bite her in the ass. After four seasons Milo Ventrimiglia still doesnt' know how to act. And on a geek-note, what the hell is Sylar's power? As I understood the lines of dialogue in these last few episodes, his power is to understand how things work. That's why he's so good at clocks. That makes sense as a power! I can even, albeit by making a HUGE leap of faith, understand how "knowing how things work" applies to human brains. I'm not sure, however, how he translates that into making his own brain work the same way. Or how Peter could then steal those powers. Mimic couldn't mimic himself to get more abilities. It's all stupid and weak. Claire became more likable towards the end, but I really wish the bitch would take some self-defense classes. I hate how Matt Parkman woke up one day and is suddenly Emma-Frost-Powerful, as Adrik put it. Even if he has that potential, at what point did he hone his powers? And why are there no old people with powers? This show really seems to be writing from the seat of it's pants, and the Heroes universe suffers greatly as a result. The real question is if I'll be back next season, and right now I don't know.

Chuck, Gossip Girl, Reaper: Haven't watched em yet.
My goal this summer is to catch up on Chuck and Gossip girl. They got lost in the fact that I was busy and Monday Nights were over-packed with shit.

Wednesday

America's Next Top Model: I'm too biased
As Brian pointed out, in all of these reality competitions I pick a few people I want to win, and then become blind to anyone else having a chance. In this case, I would have been happy with Celia or Allison (although I knew Celia wasWAY too old to be a model), so I was perhaps blind to Teyona's merits. I thought Allison was cute and quirky, and randomly Stepped it UP that last episode. Teyona I thought had a very strange face and I was upset that she messed up the commercial. But Brian said, and I agreed, that they wanted an African American to win this season, so I wasn't overly surprised. Brian tells me she's good, so I'll go with that.

Lost: Wow.
This show is interesting for me. It's not something I exactly plan my week around, because I only like maybe two of the characters, but it's still something I love to watch. The story is so complex that you have to watch it closely, and apparently I just happen to get the whole time travel thing better than most people. Which reminds me, why is it so damned difficult for the viewing public? People have a linear time line, TIME has a linear time line. At no point do they have to have the SAME linear timeline. If you take a blue string and a yellow string and tie them together in various places, does the string become Green? No. You still have a blue and yellow string, they just intersect in different places. There are paradoxes I'd be curious to see explained, but I don't think they're going to pull the "alternate timeline" card. I loved when Miles was like "Uhm, did it occur to any of you that WHAT YOU'RE DOING might be the incident?" And I hate how Juliet went. She was one of my favorite characters in the show, and then she had to go and fall for Sawyer, who loves Kate. Everyone loves Kate. WHY? She's not that pretty, she lies to everyone, she gets her panties in a twist about random shit. YOU CAN DO BETTER. I loved all of the Jacob Storyline, and how basically everything we've watched so far is this battle between Jacob and the evil thing pretending to be Locke. This final season will be quite something to watch, and I cannot wait. I feel a bit like I should go back and watch seasons 1-5, but I doubt I have that kind of patience.

Damages: Good, if a little rushed.
Overall I liked the first season more, but I thought this mystery was interesting. This show is so complex to say anything about it would ruin any kind of surprise. I actually had one of the surprises sort of ruined for me (although I wasn't surprised really). It's a really creative show, though, and I'm glad it's still on. I love these stories where the timelines are all weaved together and you really have to pay attention to figure out what's going on. And the fact that it's only 13 episodes means it's easy to catch up on!

Burn Notice: Not invested enough to have a real opinion
I like to watch Burn Notice, but I always watch it while doing other things, so I never have fully-formed opinins about the show. I'm glad Carla is dead, and I'm curious to see what Michael will do against the new big bad played by Fraiser's dad. That's all I've got.

Thursday

Grey's Anatomy: Meh.
This show has lost some of it's luster. It regains it occasionally, but I really don't think it's as good anymore. I'm not sure what it is exactly. Bailey is less feisty. Izzy is annoying as hell and I hope she's dead, as I think it would make for better drama for Alex to go through finally falling in love with a woman only to have her die. And then we can work on George's rehabilitation, which will give him actual screen time. I don't really care for Meredith and McDreamy, or Lexie and McSteamy, so there you go. I like Arizona and Callie together (even if I think Hahn got short shift), and I like McTrauma and Christina. But really, when you walk away from a cliffhanger of which two main characters might be dead and you cant' really be bothered, what does that say?

Ugly Betty: Happens Tomorrow.
Not expecting much, though. This season has been kind of crap. I do not like Matt at all, and Daniel is trying my last nerve.

Smallville: Horribly backed-up. This too will come with Chuck later on.

Friday

Dollhouse: Amazing
When Dollhouse first started, I was disappointed. It wasn't bad, exactly, but it wasn't Wonderful Super Fantastic Coolness Remarkable like I was expecting. But then came episode 6, and things really started to change. By the second half of the season I couldn't WAIT to watch this show. The storylines were all complex and tangled. And the finale was pure awesome. I loved Alpha (won't spoil that, since no one watches the show), and I loved the Whiskey reveal. I never liked November so I'm glad she's gone. I like that Ballard now works for the Dollhouse, but I feel like his conscience is going to get on my nerves real damn quick. Maybe they'll make him into a doll and have him be shirtless all the time. I thought "Omega" was also bad-ass, and it was interesting to see how no matter how good the doll, there is always a part of themselves underneath it all. And always, when I think we're about to stumble headlong into "No More Plot" because a character became too self-aware, they reset it, but not in a cheap way. Echo is still moving towards realization, but not at the break-neck speed that makes everything unbelievable. In short, this show suffered from it's lame schedule which was imposed on it by Fox. Stupid fucking Fox.

Friday Night Lights: Good end to an awesome season.
I was not feeling the second season of this show. I mean, it was still better than 90% of the shit on TV, but it was lacking somehow. This season on the other hand was amazing. The scenes with Coach fighting for his position were great. The scenes with Saracen trying to deal with his grandmother were great. The scenes with Jason Street going away actually made me cry. This is one of the best shows on Television, hands down, and if you're not watching you should be. Awesomeness.

Sunday

Amazing Race: Yay Team Deaf lost.
I don't care if it makes me a bad person, I did not like Luke. I thought he was a whiny punk who would get mad at anyone thinking he was handicapped until it was convenient for him to emphasize the point. Without his mother, he would have been out in the second week. I dont' think he was stupid, I don't think he was incapable, I just think he was a bitch. He CLEARLY pushed Jen and yet SHE was the bitch? Oh no. And I wasn't sad Tammy and Victor won. I hated them until week 3, and then they started to become much more likable. I liked Tammy a lot. The red-heads were just a bit too nasty to the locals for me, so I wasn't devastated that they came in second.

Desperate Housewives: This show needs to die
It's not so much that I didn't enjoy the finale (although to say I enjoyed it might be a little strong), it's just that the show is getting stale. I just dont' see that many good options left for the characters. Maybe if MJ had actually died I would be intrigued, but I'm not. I hate how Katherine is underused and whiny anymore. I hate how Lynette recovered from cancer and turned into a raging bitch towards Tom. I hate Susan just in general. Gaby and Bree are still interesting, but Bree is about to NOT be interesting if she doesn't get away from Orson and Carl. And what happened to Andrew and his wedding? This is another example of a bad cliffhanger. The "Who did Mike marry?" question just does not interest me at all. I could not care less if I tried. And all of it just makes me think they should make season 6 it, and create some big mystery, and wrap it up that way. And as a side-note, who was the character from seaosn 1 that came back? I can't recall anyone new in the show.

Brothers and Sisters: Why do I watch this?
The answer is because of Scotty and Sarah. Every single other character I find boring and whiny. This is another show that I think is past it's prime, and should call it quits after the next season. At least now that Tommy's gone it should be more bearable, as his character I've always felt was terrible. Maybe from now on I'll only watch if there is some definitive Scotty storyline going on.

So I think that about sums it up. I actually did it all in one setting, although the later reviews are weaker because I was just worn out. I also watch Dexter and Mad Men, but I'm just as behind on those as I am on anything else. Not enough hours in the day, I say!

Finale Round-up MEGA Post Part 1 - Series Finales

As Adrik has been reminding me, I've been shit about the updates lately. I'm not really sure why I'm so busy, but it has a lot to do with my recent return to Final Fantasy XI. That shit is like cocaine, and I kick the habit for a few months until the white monster jumps on my back again. Anyway, between work and my new show and Jen's graduation party last week, I've been busy busy. Also, sometimes you just don't feel like blogging. Anyway, I want to do a rundown of the finales that have already happened. I'll put the series finales first, then the season finales. If someone could explain how to post links to JUMP to later parts of the article that would be great. WARNING: This is going to be a Mega Post.

***Series Finales***

Battlestar Galactica: Liked it.
This probably deserves it's own post, as it's a major finale for geeks everywhere. I'll admit that over time I've forgotten the things that annoyed me (the first 20 minutes, all that time when they first get to New Earth before people start disappearing) and I can focus on the things I loved (The attack on the colony, Roslin's death, Starbuck's disappearance). Roslin's death was awesome, except it was literally followed by a commercial break, so there was no time to absorb the emotion. It was like 'HORRIBLY EMOTIONAL SCENE 2 seconds MCDONALDS CM". Yuck. I know I'm in the minority that actually liked Starbuck's last scene. I thought it was so cool that she just stopped existing, implying that everything up until this point had been supernatural. So damned cool! I also liked that Head Six and Head Baltar are like angels, although the very final scene was a bit heavy handed. I enjoyed it, as long as I don't analyze it too much. So I'm sad to see this show go. It wasn't always great (Thank you season 3) but when this show was good, it was AMAZING. Notice how it got Bold, Italics, and Caps. Watching BSG was the first time I ever got chills from an hour of TV, and I wouldn't trade that for anything. Which is why I've preordered the bigass Complete Series Box set. God knows where I'll put it. There might be more to say about this, but I feel like the SciFi did all the "goodbye BSG" shit to death.

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles: Liked it. Ish.
I had to think about how I felt about this. I didn't dislike it, but I'm not sure I necessarily liked it. For one thing I hate, hate, hate when they cancel a show AFTER it's finished shooting, so we never get closure. It's one thing to not renew it halfway through a season, so TPTB have time to cram something together, even if it's not as epic as what they might have planned. But to just cancel something without any sort of warning I find to be reprehensible. Especially when that something has a hard-core geek following, cause those Geeks will tear you to pieces. I'd bitch about Fox now but they renewed Dollhouse so they've won some points. Overall I think this show was good, although it got significantly better second season. At first I only liked Cameron, but this season I also started to like John a bit. Sarah annoyed me, and Derek was just alright. I loved the Red head, although I think she was a bit stiff (and not because she was a robot). I'll always mourn the passing of decent Sci Fi, but I think this show was about to get into some serious Time Travel stories, and the time line is already muddled enough. I think Time Travel is really cool, but has to be handled in a very specific way, or else you get paradoxes left and right. OR you get 200 alternate timelines, which is what Sarah Connor was starting to do. That shit gets horribly confusing because you never know who's from which timeline, and then you have to do some major event to consolidate them (a la Crisis on Infinite Earths). So all in all I will say I liked this series and will miss it next season.

Kyle XY: Liked it except for the cliffhanger
I already spent a post talking about this, so we're done. I'm not even going to tag this.

Pushing Daisies: Loved it
This show was so great. I didn't always love the characters (Ok, I really didn't like Chuck at all. And I didn't like Ned when he was mooning over Chuck) but the storylines were always cute and the general atmosphere of the show was fantastic. This cemented my love of Brian Fuller that had started earlier with Wonderfalls (I even caught the crossover. I'm that TV-Geeky). I think it was just a little bit too quirky to gain wide-spread acclaim, but I'm glad it lasted two seasons. I'm waiting for a "Complete Series" set to be released before I buy it (although what if there isn't one and it goes out of print? That's my current Big Fear regarding cartoons, which is why I've spent a fuckton recently buying DVDs before they die). Anyone that hasn't caught the first season at least should really try. I think there were only like 22 episodes of this show total, split over two seasons, so it's not hard to catch up. It's cute and unlike anything else on TV. And Kristen Chenowith and Chi McBride are GENIUS, especially together.

Those are all of the series finales I can think of, but I'll post more if I think of any. And as I must go home now, I'll save the Season Finales for another post. It's probably better to break them up anyway, as I watch so much damn TV.

Adrik, the things I do for you

Because really, had it not been for a certain facebook wall message I received Saturday morning, I never would have caught up on Heroes. And I'm still trying to decide if I'm sorry that I did or not.

On some level, I'm glad that I did, because I really do want to like this show. That was always my problem before, because I was watching it hoping for something great and instead getting something unwatchable. I watched 18-21 over the weekend to catch up, and 18 and 19 were more of the same crap, but things started to improve 20-21. Not improve drastically, but it was certainly watchable. I don't know how to put it exactly. I guess I can't shake the feeling that had these episodes been in season 1, they would have been "OK" but when you put them next to the last season and a half of complete shite they shine. Then again, maybe I've just fallen out of love so much with the series that nothing it does will win me back.

However, a great way to start winning me back is to kill off the characters I hate. Namely, Flashette. It was the first time I cheered for this show in years. I knew as soon as Parkman lifted off the ground that this crap was a dream and she was toast. Well, that's a lie. First I had a panic attack that they gave him another power (to compliment his SUPER POWERFUL psychicness (since WHEN?) and his randomly-acquired, ridiculously-convenient/lazy future sight). But then I realized she was a gonner, and I was so glad. I actually like the actress from Friday Night Lights, but they never gave her anything valuable to do in this series. And there were just too many characters for me to care about them.

May you rest in pieces

Another great way to win me back is to kill off characters I like in a good way. Good bye Tracy, you were cool. Your ice power was so underused, and I really liked how you went out. I'm not having the nerdgasm that Adrik did, but I liked the scene. I'm a little fuzzy on why she froze herself. When she defrosts, will she just become hunks of person? Or did she transform her body into solid water so that it was ice? Cool effect, but I get so caught up in the particulars.

I had a feeling Micah was Rebel, which is a plot twist I can at least respect, even if I don't overly care for his character. PS - Yay puberty. At least they didn't just forget about him like they did muscle-memory-girl. I didn't hate the Hiro/Ando storyline, as Hiro was kind of cute with the baby. Why can Ando shoot red beams, though? And at least they gave Hiro some power, so he's not completely useless. Teleportation was too powerful anyway.

Mama Petrelli kicked ass, I have to say. I really enjoyed her attitude the whole way through. You know she's a force to be reckoned with, and I cannot wait until we get her backstory. Peter, on the other hand, was boring as per usual. How the hell can he just automatically control any power he absorbs? Is it because he's absorbing powers he already had? And what happens if he steals Sylar's power?

And lets talk about Sylar for a second, shall we? How limitlessly powerful does he really have to be? Now he can shapeshift? And what happened to the whole period when he just absorbed powers by feeling feelings? Is the killing just a fun hobby of his now? I hated the crap with his father, because I am done with Daddy issues on this show (more on that in a second). I also don't like that he and the Hunter teamed up, because it clearly indicates the Hunter's desperation, which is not something I expected of his character. I'm curious to see how he's actually got Sylar backed into the corner, although I'm worried he doesn't and is just reacting to his situation. And given his general hatred of mutants (I'm through avoiding the term just because NBC doesn't have the rights) you'd think he had some scary mutant in his history, but no. He's just ANGRY.

Now on to Daddy issues. I can't believe how well my segues have been going. Claire and Nathan. *sigh* I'm not sure where to start. I like that Nathan flew in to save her, and they ran off to Mexico. I also enjoyed Nathan thinking he could out-drink some college kids at Tequila. Not so young anymore, Nathan. Especially when you have a girl who will heal the alcohol right out of her system (PS - Awesome power). But then Claire launches into this whole "You're my daddy, you're THUPER" shit and I completely lost interest in all of the four episodes I had just watched. "You were more amazing than anything I could have imagined. You could fly!" Really Claire? Really? Flight completely overwhelmed your expectations? This is the problem with kids today: No imagination. And it just REEKED of unresolved daddy issues on the writing staff. I did however like when Nathan woke up, and Claire was all "LETS SAVE THE WORLD" and he was all "Honey, Daddy was drunk. If you were just a bit older, I probably would have forced myself on you". (Don't get too excited Adrik ;) It was all just weak. Maybe I'm just really angry that Claire has not been beheaded. Although horrible thought, what if her body and head both regenerate like an earthworm and we have two Claires. God I hope the writers never read this.

So, yeah. I'm sort of back on the Heroes train. I'll probably keep up with it just because catching up is damned near impossible for me anymore. I reserve the right to jump-ship at any time, but I'll give Brian Fuller a chance to fix things. Clearly that man has me under some kind of spell. Damn you Wonderfalls. Damn you Pushing Daisies. Damn you TV networks for canceling both of those.

The guy that got sucked out of the plane was the lucky one

It's official. I'm done with Heroes. Last night's episode was just ridiculous, and I can't even motivate myself to write a full rant out. Claire and Peter both completely suck on the show. There was no drama with the main characters getting kidnapped. Peter's power doesn't make sense. We just glazed over how Sylar is alive again. They didn't even pretend like it was a secret, he's just walking about on his non-sensical daddy quest. Hiro could have been cool as Oracle, and then wasn't. And the plane crash was so ridiculous I don't even want to talk about it.

Now if I was a show-runner on this show, I would bring in some fresh blood that didn't suck and demote Peter and Claire to the back-row. Send Claire off to train so that she's not so completely fucking useless all the time, and just kill Peter. Give Hiro a geek job like being Oracle, cause that's cool. Get rid of Daphne and Parkman. Sylar is a good baddie, but he needs a better purpose than "are you my daddy?" I liked when he was collecting powers. Also, we need to NEVER use the future-drawing power again. Ever. I'm so done with that shit. The genosha idea could be cool, if they set it up properly, but we need to remove such heavy-handed imagery like "I'm Iranian, I know what they're doing". Ugh.

But the fact of the matter is I'll never know if they fix these things because I'm officially done with the show. I couldn't even bring myself to be interested by the preview next week. I'm finished. And it makes me angry that this show could have so much potential and it just didn't live up to it. And it makes me angry that from now on every superpower show they want to make will be compared to this garbage.

In other news Kyle XY got cancelled. Which would have made me sad about three weeks ago, but now I'm very "meh" about the whole thing. And part of me is relieved that I will have less shit to watch every week.

Good thing I didn't waste my 100th post on this crap.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Thoughts

My first and only thought is, "Why don't they just call it 'X-Men Fanboy: Wetdreams' and get it over with?"

Wolverine is automatically crack for fanboys, so fine, I was expecting some of that. But Gambit? Do they REALLY need to put Gambit in a Wolverine movie? God. My only real knowledge of Gambit comes from the X-Men Animated Series, and I didn't hate him in that, but I do not understand the massive hard-on that all these fanboys have for things. Where is the X-Men: Phoenix movie? That would be AWESOME. That would actually be what X-Men 3 should have been. Damn you Brian Singer and your desire to do that shit Superman movie with the kid. You could have done something absolutely AMAZING. I used to enjoy his movies but the more I think about it the angrier I get at him for not doing X-Men 3 properly.

God knows I'll probably go see the wolverine movie. If for no other reason than Ryan Reynolds is amazing hot, especially when he's weilding swords. And while I'm not quite the obsessed, ridiculous fanboy most of these people are, I am indeed a fanboy.

For the curious but uninformed.

Heroes is my crack addiction

Because try as I might to quit it, I just keep going back. I'm actually very curious about the fugitives arc, but I'll get to that in a second. First the month-late review of the half-season finale. Now I actually have to say I didn't completely hate this episode. It had some serious, serious flaws, but there were parts about it that I enjoyed. Unfortunately all of those parts were ruined shortly thereafter by shitty writing and shittier acting.

The "Sylar Plays Saw" plot was interesting in theory. It was cool that he locked them all up to play mind-games with them. However, like any Villain he let his own shit get in the way and it ruined everything. Putting Noah in with firemom hopped up on adrenaline was actually really cool. I wish there had been a bit more fighting between sylar and the convicts they released. It was all rather anti-climatic. Even puppetman was over before he started. And then Sylar died, which I'm actually ok with. But the Angela/Sylar scene was also kind of a letdown. I enjoy both characters immensely and this scene was lacking something. Sidenote: how did little Claire suffer NO kickback from that shotgun blast? Sidenote 2: How the fuck did Noah and Claire manage to OUTRUN that stupid blast? Such bad CG during that episode. And why did firemom have to die exactly? I know Adrenaline is a bitch, but she had been holding that shit back for long enough that the adrenaline should have subsided slightly. And couldn't she have gone outside and exploded? It seemed like kind of a plot hole, but I'm willing to forgive it if the companies are now behind us.

The Peter/Nathan scenes also made little to no sense. I just don't understand why Nathan changed sides so quickly. He was all "We have to stop dad" and suddenly "DAD'S RIGHT. DEATH TO THE NORMALS" Beg pardon? And how the fuck did ALL of the red goo get changed? Did papa petrelli manage to lay on hands to every container in the room? And what pisses me off about all of this shit is how these stick-pens-of-goo are the now go-to plot device, and it annoys me. It's like the fortune-telling-comic-books. And now that Mohinder has taken the correct serum will he still have his wanna-be-spider-man abilities? And was anyone else annoyed that Peter taking the serum gave him the EXACT SAME powers as he had before?

And who can forget Terrific Trio of Ando, Matt, and Daphne. While I thought it would have been cool to reveal that Hiro has been pulling strings for the last 16 years and is actually in charge of something, that clearly would have required too much planning on the writers' part. How long until he takes the magic-sticky-pen-o-powers and gets his time traveling back? Because without them I'm done with his character. Ando's new powers were actually kind of cool, how he powers up people. But I didn't like that him powering up Daphne allowed her to run about through time. If she could go back in time that might be cool (albeit nonsensical) but how does she run forward through time so well? And Time Travel really isn't something you just understand. Shouldn't the running sensation be different somehow? And what really confused me is, when she first pops back in time, she is watching herself, and then when she watches herself get sucked back in time again you can see kind of an after image of Daphne appearing next to her. How the hell is that possible if the after image would be when she first appeared 2 minutes earlier? I guess it's because I'm a ginormous geek but these sorts of things really, really bother me and as a result completely take me out of the story. Not that taking myself out of the story would really kill much.

Despite all of the Heroes rants I've had recently, I will probably tune in to the new volume when it comes back. I heart Brian Fuller, and he comes back halfway through the volume as I understand it. And the giant nationwide hunt for Mutants seems like it could be interesting. I am just looking for a bit more epic scope from this series. Like, they don't seem to have any long-term plans and it bothers me. So with any luck the show will get back on track. And if it doesn't at least I will have shit to bitch about.

Heroes addendum

I did want to add two things to my previous post.

First, I actually love the actress that played Hiro's mommy. She was on Babylon 5 back in the day (50 coolness points to anyone who can name her character without cheating), and she was in something else that I cannot place at the moment but I enjoyed nonetheless. She was not given much to do other than sit there and look sick and kiss things, but I do enjoy her. Her name is Tamlyn Tomita. Big fan.

Second, if Hiro got lost in the past, where has he been the last 16 years? I actually think it could be cool if they meet an old Hiro who has maneuvered himself into a position of control over everything. Or at least influence. Although he probably got even fatter and owns a comic shop on the lower east side. (Is that a good or bad part of New York? I don't even know) Or it would have been cool if someone had had the thought process that "Hey, if Hiro hasn't shown up yet, maybe he got rescued!" And "Lost in Time" implies he is LOST in time, rather than just stuck in a known time period that isn't now. When I first saw that page I was expecting that Hiro was on the run, so he is constantly jumping from random time to random time. Or maybe even his power malfunctioned. But being stuck and being lost are not at all the same.

I just read an interview with Brian Fuller (creator of Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies, both excellent series if you haven't caught them. Used to be a writer on Heroes) and he was pointing out everything that's gone wrong with Heroes lately, and how he hopes to fix it. I do worship at the altar of Fuller, so I may have to retract my earlier statement and give him a chance to rescue the show. But seriously this show is like the patient that's been on life support so long you just know they'll come back and not be able to speak properly, making you wish you had taken them off of life support back when so you wouldn't have to suffer now.

Can I get a "Huh?" with that Heroes?

I was going to write a big long post all about my England/Paris trip before I got into my TV reviews, but Heroes was so fucking infuriating just now that I have to critique it right away. And I've decided as soon as this Villians arc is over I'm giving up on the damned show.

So, since the list is shorter, let's list the things I didn't hate:

Ok, now onto the things I did.

No, I joke. But the only thing I did like was Mama Petrelli giving Peter the gun and telling him to grow a pair. And Sylar being crazy and evil was kind of fun (even if his thought processes to get there made no sense whatsoever, but more on that later). And the marine was kind of hot, if you're into meatheads. I'm really scraping to come up with these things.

And let the critique begin. My biggest and most problematic issue with this episode was that the plot had GIANT, GAPING HOLES in it. Usually my problem is with just uninteresting writing, or bad acting (of which there was plenty in this episode) but never before have I just not understood an episode.

Problem 1: How the fuck did Papa Petrelli get back in time with Hiro and Claire? This isn't meant to be rhetorical or witty. I honestly do not understand how he could travel back in time to steal Hiro's time travel power in the first place. Is there another time traveler he stole from? Is that how he teleported all over the place? It might at least explain how he got to Africa so fucking fast a month ago. But this leads me back to the whole problem of there being 8 powers in the world. Powers in this game are apparently like one of those paper fortune tellers we made in school, where you pick two numbers and a color only to find out you have a crush on the fat girl. I could also buy that it was past Arthur who just happened to walk in at the right time, but then that wouldn't make sense with any of the rest of the story. Did he just take Hiro's power so Hiro wouldn't have it anymore? Then we are forced to ask again why he hasn't been stopping time this whole season. It just doesn't make any sense.

Problem 2: Every scene with Daphne, Matt, and Ando. If you saw the episode obviously I don't have to explain why this sucked so hard, but for giggles, lets provide a montage of some of my favorite lines:

• "You are being a good friend to Hiro, Nemesis." "well, it's my fault" "No, it's because it's right, and you're a good person".
  
• *cut to a view of Matt beating himself with a book*
• "OH NO. He's getting away! We have to go after him" "Boys, let me handle this"
  
• *cut to a view of Matt stabbing his ear with a pen*
  
• "Maybe it's not all bad. He can perfect the formula now" "That's right, we can have another time traveler. Maybe it's ME"
  
• *cut to a view of Matt turning off Heroes and vowing never to watch it again*

Sadly this last part didn't happen. I stayed until the end. And how was I rewarded? With Claire's whole subplot, or as I like to call it, Problem 3.

Problem 3: Claire, and everything in this show she's associated with except Noah, and frankly even Noah when he's around Claire because he becomes stupid. As anyone who has seen Bring it On: White Girl gets Hood (Thank you Justin) we all know the bitch can't act. But it's been my experience even a bad actor can make good material bearable (see: Keanu Reeves in The Matrix, Shia LeBouf in Transformers), which means this unbearable shit is really not all her fault. First issue: They're in New York City, and Mrs.Bennet (because I can't be bothered to learn her real name) just lets this little bitch into her flat, and alone with her daughter. I mean, she's blonde and well dressed in completely anachronistic clothing, so clearly she must be safe. If she was that black chick from last season, you know Sandra (HA! I remembered) would have pulled out the Mace. Which makes me realize how remarkably NOT diverse this cast is. And as an aside, I hate when people run about in Anacrhonistic clothing and no-one is ever "uhm dude you're dressed funny. Are you from the future?" They did it in Star Trek all the damn time. No one wears pajamas like that! If I ever see someone in an outfit that looks alright but has no place in my time period, my first guess is time travelers. Anyway, back to the Claire Debacle. So I approve of Noah walking in and being all "Who the hell are you?" but I don't like that she managed to talk him out of capping her so quickly. Granted she wouldn't have died anyway, but it would have been fantastic to watch him shoot her, and have her get up and be all "YOU'RE MY DADDY!!" That would have given the writers fodder to stretch out over the next two seasons. "The past You shot me because I was all sketchy and Single White Babysitter and I can never forgive you". And the whole conversation didn't leave a big enough imprint on Noah that when Claire grew up he was like "Have we met? Cause you look awfully familiar"? And please please please when will the bitch learn to fight? Your power is you can't get hurt. It's a fun party trick to cut off your hand and grow a new one, but really kind of USELESS in a fight against people who can do everything (which apparently is every 8th person with powers).

I would list the catalyst as problem number 4, but it's not so much. I really liked Hiro's mother, although she was kind of useless. If she's a healer, and they all know Linderman who was also a healer (it's one of the 8 powers, apparently) couldn't they have someone come and fix whatever was wrong with her? Was the catalyst killing her? Was the catalyst her power? Was it a gift from the aliens in Cocoon? Cause it certainly made people all glowy. And Arthur stole it and when he died, it died with him, was that it? Meh.

Other questions from the episode:
Where did Sylar get the bottle of lighter fluid?
How did he get back to civilization so damned fast?
How did Daphne CARRY Ando and Parkman?
What is Hiro's dad's power? (Ok, this one is kind of legitimate)
Why didn't Sylar steal the Hatian's power?
Why did Nathan switch sides so quickly?
Are all of these companies in the same place, thus explaining the ridiculous ease of travel between locations?
Did Sylar re-accelerate the bullet in order to make it kill Papa Petrelli? And why was the bullet spinning?
Will this show ever get good again?
Was my typing "this" as "shit" in the last question a Freudian slip?

I'm sure I had more issues with it, but those are the major ones. Or at least the most memorable ones. And I can't wait for tomorrow! YAY MORE SHIT.

Heroes Rant

After I read Adrik's comment, it reminded me how my biggest problem with the episode was how Ando is fucking FLUENT in English all of a sudden. No time passes, and suddenly he loses his accent completely and can translate without any difficulty? Right... I think this is an example of how English teaching has ruined my life. I seriously cannot listen to bad English and not experience eye-twitching. Although I can handle that better than people wearing their shoes on the bed. And another good point, why is Hiro even still alive? Is it because he's the son of George Takei? Is there some kind of oath he took?

And Daphne: "You don't KNOW me!" You only thiiiiiiiiiiiiink you do. And then she and her father hugged and made-up. I've decided that Daphne is actually still crippled, she just moves so fast you can't tell. So from now on instead of Flashette I'm going to call her Cripple.

The writing is just such shit. Oh, another annoyance. Who really thought Claire was dead? Her power is such a get out of jail free card. Although wow to the gore of her being open on the table like that. And for Sylar getting his throat slit. And boo to HRG for not being more creative and smashing his head in with a brick. God. The anger has clearly returned.

If I forgive the writers, will the pain stop?

As I stated in my tweet, WTF Heroes. WTF.

I'm going to go through the episode in order and list every issue I have with it. First, what the fuck did papa petrelli do to Hiro? Erase his memory? Why not take his powers too? Can he not take powers he already has? And can he only take powers and not like life force? How did he kill Adam then? I would think without Adam's powers he would just start to age, not disentigrate. Which brings me to another point: I thought Peter's power was to absorb other powers, so what exactly did Papa take from Peter? That's a minor point that I'd be willing to let slide. Also, if Papa Petrelli has had this power-stealing ability all along, why is he not uber-powerful like Peter or Sylar? He appears to only have the mind power and apparently the teleport power, but was that from Peter or before?

Next: The secret to Hiro's power is to blink? Ando making his eyes blink made them teleport? SERIOUSLY? Heaven forbid he's ever daydreaming and blinks. And something else that they've never explained: How does he not wind up inside a wall or something? (another minor point I would let slide if the rest of the show wasn't shit). So they wind up in a bowling alley in LA that's dress up to look like Tokyo, complete with random Asian people who may or may not be actual Japanese. i'll give them credit for using signs in actual Japanese. I'll stick with Hiro's storyline for now, and bitch about the comic book shop they went to. Having lived in Japan, do you have any idea how rare it is to find American comics there, much less in such large numbers? Mainly because Japanese manga are usually better. And it was cute that he was so shocked by Captain America and Hulk, but that 9th wonder comic is a stupidly convenient plot device. It made sense when Isaac was drawing it, but how many precogs ARE there in the world? Are there like ten powers and people get one of those, like rolling a dice? Precognition is too powerful an ability for more than one person to have it. And also, if these books have continuously been published, WHY HAVEN'T THEY BEEN READING IT THE WHOLE TIME? And why jump ahead ten pages? I'd be reading the whole thing, since clearly they are not in any hurry to get anywhere. The time traveling and precognition in this series need to stop, because it ruins things. It was really cool in season 1 when they jumped to the future and peter was all dark and evil with his scar that never healed despite his healing abilities (again, wtf?) but it gets old.

Ok. So now lets look at Nathan and Nicky. except her name is Tracy. Meh. Nathan has never been anything but melodramatic and stupid, and are just forgetting that he somehow came back from the dead? Can someone explain that one to me? Was it because of the infusion of Adam's blood last season? Could we at least explain that? And why does he hang around Tracy? And why does he give his father the time of day? If my father was using me to blow up the world, I really wouldn't have a sit-down with him. And if his father is all powerful, couldn't he find a better pawn to use? How about another shapeshifter (since that's one of the ten powers people can have)? He could even absorb the power and just do it himself. Nathan is expendable. And are we also forgiving Papa for giving Nathan powers because he was disappointed he wasn't born with them? And Nathan is clearly thinking with his Penis because Tracy is obviously not on the side of good. And whatever happened to Nathan's wife? Did I miss the talk of divorce? And doesn't he have children? Were they killed and I missed it? I somehow doubt that, as it would have given Adrian Pasdar an actually legitimate reason to chew scenery with bad acting and scowling.

Now for Matt and Flashette. First off, I'm not a fan of the weird camera work that happens when he's using his powers. Second, I'm not a fan at how he can be completely inept at using his power one week, then create these massive illusions for the fear guy, and then go back to being completely inept at his powers. Fucking skill-up man. And I think his lack of power inside people's minds is really just evidence of this fuckers lack of imagination. In the mind there are no rules. Stupid. And oh Flashette (I'm calling her this because I dont' know her real name). How did you fall in love with Matt exactly? You've been lying to him. Was his obliviousness and ineptitude really that attractive? "Aww, look at him not be able to do shit with his powers. It's so cute!" And I could go with him bleeding in real life if he got stabbed in his mind, but not it healing up like that. And while we're here, how did Mama Petrelli have that much power over Papa Petrelli? And if she did have that much power, why the fuck didn't she use it in the first place? I think my biggest problem with Matt is I've seen how powerful telepaths can be in other comic incarnations, and he comes off as such a pud. Which is fine as long as it's consistent. And before I forget, how often were they going to say "lets get a doctor" when there was CLEARLY no one in the facility. Which leads me to another point: Why was there no one in the facility? And I'm still annoyed that the company is actually called Primatech. I thought that was just a cover for a more interestingly named organization. But no.

Peter and Claire. I'm saving Elle and Sylar for last because I have the most issues with their storyline. Now. Peter is a horrible character. He can't act, and the bad writing makes it even more apparent. And seriously, why would papa petrelli send henchmen after peter if he had no powers? What's he going to do? It was ridiculously naive to assume they weren't after Claire. And could someone please teach the bitch some fighting moves? I'd love to see her become a martial arts genius, cause that would be cool. Right now she's just kind of pudgy and slow. And I don't think Hayden Planetarium is that bad an actress, but the writing is not doing her any favors. Minor side note: Where did the fire out of the gas jet go, exactly? I really have nothing else to say other than Peter is a horrible character and I wish he'd get killed off. And I would like Clare to start doing more useful things.

Now, Elle and Sylar. I think Kristen Bell and Zachary Quinto are horribly used in this series. I <3 style="font-style: italic;">can act (Sylar, Noah Bennet) aren't given good enough material to make it worthwhile. Even in general, the show just lacks a certain quality that it had first season. I don't know if it's that Heroes was new back then, and now it's not, or if my gut is right and the show is just lacking something. And my co-worker keeps telling me that the budget was lowered, but I don't think it's special effects that I need. I just need a compelling story. Look at BSG: the best episodes are not the giant space battles, but the episodes where the characters (read: Cylons and Roslin) are giving it their all.

The whole thing is remarkably disappointing and I hate it. Yet I'll be there next week to see how this section continues along. Clearly I'm a masochist for pop culture.

Politics

I'm really not overly political. I tend to think all politicians are full of crap and everything is being controlled by a bunch of scary old white men in a dark room with strange spotlights. If you've seen Evangelion, kind of like those folks. But this election cycle I watch the news and I listen to the people around me and it baffles me how people are not getting political. The country is frigging falling apart around us. The world thinks we're all idiots (and while by and large I can't disagree with the world, I would like as a whole for America to become less stupid). And don't even get me started on the sad state of gay rights. How can Californians even consider Proposition 8? It's such a hateful piece of legislation. And yet these fucking Mormons and other Christian groups are spending hundreds of millions to fight it. But I do not need to start ripping apart the illogical arguments of religious groups, because I can never win.

Anyway, the whole reason I'm writing is because of this article by David Sedaris, which more or less summed up my views on the situation. If I dwell on the topic for too long I'll just get very angry and ruin my day.

I need to move out

This weekend I was in charge of watching my mom, cause my dad took a (deserved) weekend to go play golf. I love the woman, but watching her is so stressful, cause I never get a chance to really just sit and unwind because she always needs something, or she has her TV turned up way too high so it's just noisy. And it's sad because we used to be really close but now we're just not. That's partly due to her being stupid about her disease, and party due to her being bigoted in her opinion about gays.

I've also discovered I now look down on anyone that hasn't gone abroad for an extended period of time, or at the very least gone abroad in something other than a foreigner-centric package trip, but then start preaching about foreign policy. I don't mean to look down on them, it just happens. I find my patience wears thin with people a lot faster lately than it used to. At 25 I've already discovered life's too short to put up with crap I don't agree with. It's not that I really think I'm a great person (nor do I think I'm a bad person, just average) but I look around in America and I'm dumbfounded by how people act. Whether its my boss (who is a really nice guy otherwise) talking about sex NON-STOP, or my mother telling me Palin isn't a cluster-fuck of a candidate. I never thought my values were that strange until recently.

Anyway rant over, cause my heart isn't really in it. I do have a rant about the sucky Apple phone service, but no one needs to hear that. Other than that in my life is not much. The play opens on Friday, with my first show on Saturday night. The great part is how we have exactly ONE practice before the show. I have yet to have a fuck-up free practice, so that's great. We also have sold literaly zero tickets for our thursday night show. How awkward will that be? This TV season is killing me as well, cause there's just too much shit on. I don't have enough extra hours in my week to watch everything, and rather than trying to stay current on the new shows, I only watch shit that was on last season. I will watch new shows after we've trimmed the fat a little bit.

I'm going to go back to being on hold with Apple for an hour.

The real villian is the shitty writing

So, let me start by saying that I think Heroes season 3 blows hardcore. Here are a few of my issues: (Spoiler Alert if you're not up to date)

1. wtf is going on with Mohinder? He injects himself and turns into Manspider? And while we're on the topic, could we get some better fucking lighting in his laboratory? Did he learn nothing in high school chemistry? That dark, grey-ness is a one-way ticket to pouring acid on yourself. and more to the point, I can't figure out if he has a "rash" as he put it, or he's scaling over. Note to all you future genetic experiments: Be specific when describing side effects. And Maya, you stupid bitch, why did you stop poisoning him? Clearly he's off-kilter. You deserved to be sacked in a corner. Granted after last seasons suckitude, I'm not so broken up.
   
2. I will allow the "Nathan back from the dead" thing. Maybe he's being reanimated. maybe that's daddy's power. who knows. I do not like the "I'm on a mission from God" storyline. And sidenote: where the hell did his family go? Did they leave him after he got all melty-faced last season? His wife could walk again, and apparently that meant she walked away from his sorry ass.
3. WTF IS SYLAR'S POWER? Hunger? watch repair? Crazy? I had always thought Peter and Sylar had similar powers, just different ways of going about them. But apparently the crazy that goes with it is VERY IMPORTANT. And while we're on the topic of Peter, how about he get a little bit MORE emo? Would that work for everyone? That scene between scar-face peter and stupid-idealism peter was annoying melodramatic and cliche. And now he's all "I HUNGER". But still not getting why. And all he needed to do to absorb the power was fix a watch? Seriously? That's like a poorly designed RPG quest.
   
4. Speaking of not-getting, Mama Petrelli says "I am your mother" and everyone's like "WOW, I HAD NO IDEA". If that crazy bitch told me she was my mother, my first question would be "Could I get a DNA test?" It's like an episode of Maury Povitch in here. And why is everyone in this damned show related?
   
5. Hiro is being overly emo as well, and I don't like it. I love that he calls Daphne nemesis, and I loved how he kept putting Sark (David Anders, i can't remember his heroe's name. Adam?) in the coffin. but all of the "I don't trust ando" bullshit is an over-reaction that you KNOW is going to turn out to be completely misunderstood. I was mildly surprised when Hiro stabbed Ando, but I just don't care so much anymore.
   
6. Am I they only one that didn't understand the situation when they went into the future? In the first episode they make you believe that Claire is chasing after Peter because the "specials" are being hunted, but now you learn that he's like a terrorist of some sort. Is that how the future changed? He kept talking about "Stepping on Butterflies" Other confusion, how did her four shots kill future Peter? we've already proven the healers can withstand an atomic blast, but four bullets in the chest put him down?
7. While I appreciate that Claire is all damaged, and who wouldn't be after Sylar did that to her, she's not pulling it off well enough. She's still far too emotional for my tastes. I'd like to see her dead inside. That would be interesting. She's still too feisty. And her whole "Dad, what are you doing?!?" when Noah wanted to use black-hole-boy to suck him up was ridiculous. Suddenly you care about Sylar? The man is a monster.
   

I'm sure there are more issues I have with this season, but those are the biggest ones I have at the moment. I don't mind the Nikki and sisters were genetically engineered storyline. I thought it was interesting when we find out that Nikki was indeed dead and Tracy was different. If they pull this again, though, I will be unimpressed. I like how Mama Petrelli is crazy and clearly up to no good (minus the whole "Sylar, I am your Mother" shit mentioned above). I like seeing the villians too. I just wish that the darkside of the heroes we know wasn't quite as melodramatic or irrational. Thus ends my Heroes rant.