District 9

So. For those of you that haven't heard, there is a new movie out called "District 9." The basic premise of the story is that aliens have landed in Johannesburg and are basically treated like shit by humans. It's pretty easy to tell from the trailer that one human starts to relate to the aliens (who look like giant bugs and are called Prawns). Here's the trailer:



So, my review. Spoilers abound, so just be aware.

First let me acknowledge that this movie has gotten great reviews. Rotten Tomatoes lists it as having "all the elements of a thoroughly entertaining science-fiction classic." I love science-fiction, so I went into this movie expecting to love it, or at least be "thoroughly entertained."

Can you tell by my tone yet that I wasn't?

Now, I readily admit that going into this movie, I was tired and achy. And to sit with my mom, I was in the front row for the first ten minutes of the movie, which means about two feet from the screen. 60% of the movie is shot in Shaky-cam. Or as the douchebags like to say, "Documentary style." I was about ready to throw up after those ten minutes, at which point I moved further back. But even further back, I found the camera work to be very intense. I actually had to close my eyes at one point to calm my brain. And also, it felt a bit like the cinematographer was experimenting throughout the film. Some of it was documentary style, some of it was end-of-rifle-cam, and some of it was traditional camera work. I really, really wish he had just picked one, and I really wish whichever one he had picked was NOT end-of-rifle cam.

And I'm well aware that this may have influenced my opinion of the movie, and I decided I would look for things I enjoyed about the movie. After all, everyone loved it, didn't they? I was clearly missing something. So about halfway through the movie, I decided I was going to find something to like about this movie. And I did! The effects were great. I thought the aliens were well done, and once they started blowing shit up with the alien guns and the giant alien robot, I was laughing my ass off. Something about human beings exploding like water balloons. And when the robot picked up a PIG and threw it at a guy I guffawed. Probably pissed a lot of people off when I did that.

But when I take a step back from the OMG COOL ROBOT, I find the plot to be lacking. I mean, it's got lots in it, but none of it seemed very original to me. In fact the only plot development that surprised me was that they didn't kill off Christopher or his son. I thought sure one of them was going to get it.

And really, the fact the I see the plot as unoriginal makes it all the more obivous that the movie spent it's entire length beating you to death with its message. And that message consists of three bullet points:

1. Apartheid is bad.
2. Don't judge a book by its cover
3. Humans are evil

Sure glad I paid $10 to have that message reiterated for the 200th time in my life. It's not that any of these messages are bad, but I want them to be far more cerebral than they were. Like, the Apartheid bit could have been less obvious had the movie been set ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD. Johannesburg? Really?

Point 2 and 3 are actually connected. The longer explanation is "Oh look, these aliens are so ugly and buglike, but they care for their children just like we do! Oh look, those are the humans trying to make life better for the aliens, but really they just want to exploit them for their weapons so we can kill each other faster!" I get it. Human beings are scum. That's been true for millenia. And we need ugly fucking aliens to show us just how bad we are, as a sort of counterpoint, because apparently we're too dense to get it otherwise.

I think if the movie hadn't been so heavy-handed with it's message, I could have appreciated it a bit more. But I hate getting preached at, and that's exactly what I thought this movie was doing. And it kind of makes me sad that people saw it and were so moved by the message. How could you not be?

So yes, I did not like District 9. I realize I'm in the very small minority, but it is what it is. Justin is intent on debating it with me, but I'm not sure what could be said that would sway me. You're welcome to try as well Adrik.

Insight into my relationship, Round 2

Brian: you win this round, butts.

Matt: Ha! Mattie wins

Brian: even the sun shines on a dog's butt some times

Matt: I prefer "Even a broken watch is wrong twice a day"

Brian: right twice a day, dear

Matt: Hahaha

Matt: And Fail.

Fall TV Viewing Schedule

Premiere week is upon us! Or at least the first of numerous premiere weeks. So I have to plan my viewing calendar! Over the summer, upon reflection, some things are getting cut. There just aren't enough hours in a day for me to watch everything I might kinda wanna see. Working from this list I'll go through each day. I realize most of you probably don't care, but it's what I do.

Monday:

8pm - How I Met Your Mother (CBS)
9pm - Greek (ABC Family)
9:30pm - Big Bang Theory (CBS)

Wow, so quiet. Heroes is on Mondays, but I refuse to watch that garbage ever again. House is on Monday, but I only watched like 3 episodes of the last season. It's one of those shows that I like to watch, but don't go out of my way to watch. Gossip Girl has gotten cut from the line-up, because it just doesn't mean enough to me. Midseason I'll watch Chuck when it comes back, assuming I can blow through the rest of Season 2 before then. But all in all, after the stress of last year, I'm really looking forward to this.

Tuesday:

8pm - So You Think You Can Dance (Fox)

'nuff said. This show is great, and even though I don't always agree with the judges I won't ever not watch it. I've heard Melrose Place (9pm, CW) and The Good Wife (10pm, CBS) are both really good, so I may check them out, but as I said, not that many hours in a week.

Wednesday:

8pm - So You Think You Can Dance (Fox)
America's Next Top Model (CW)
9pm - GLEE!!!!!!! (Fox)
10pm - Top Chef (Bravo)

Wednesday 8pm is terrible! I love both of these shows. I'll watch Model live and SYTYCD after. The results shows are always less interesting, even if I like the group numbers. And then Glee is going to be the highlight of my fucking week. I'm mind-blowingly excited for that show. Top Chef I've come to enjoy watching, although it's not normally my speed. If it weren't for Glee I'd watch the ABC comedies at 9 (Modern Family and Cougartown), but seriously, nothing will beat out Glee at this point.

Thursday:

8pm - Flash Forward (ABC)
9pm - Grey's Anatomy (ABC)
10pm - Project Runway (Lifetime)

Why do I still watch Grey's? I mean, really? I don't like 80% of the characters, and the characters I do like *cough* Bailey *cough* play second fiddle to the people I hate *cough* Izzie *cough* I'm very curious about Flash Forward, and we'll see how that plays out. If I ever, ever, ever catch up, I reckon Supernatural (9pm CW) and/or Fringe (9pm Fox) might be shows I want to watch. I've also heard Community is quality, and after True Blood I'm really curious about Vampire Diaries, although that makes me hate myself a little bit. And by a little bit, I mean I may start cutting. When 30 Rock comes back, I'll watch that.

Friday:

9pm - Dollhouse (Fox)
Ugly Betty (ABC)
Southland (NBC)
Stargate Universe (SyFy)

Fuck you network executives. Fuck you to hell. Three of my favorite shows from last season (OK, that's a bit of a lie in Ugly Betty's case, but UB is still up there) all against each other, while also against what I hope to be an awesome new Sci-Fi show. And my life is decidedly void of Sci Fi goodness. I would need two DVRs just to catch everything I want to catch. Terrible, terrible, terrible. I would say I might watch Smallville (8pm, CW) but I probably won't. There's just too much else.

Sunday:

8pm - Amazing Race (CBS)
9pm - Desperate Housewives (ABC)
10pm - Brothers and Sisters (ABC)

You can put a big 'ole MAYBE next to Brothers and Sisters, because that show was crap last year. I love Sarah and I love Scotty, and if both of those characters are not shown to some prominence within the first five eps, I'm out. I do still love Race and Housewives, though, and I like that things don't overlap (ignoring of course that Football always runs over and Race starts late).

Other:

There are a few other shows that I've only ever downloaded, so I'm not 100% on when they air. They include:

Dexter (Showtime)
Mad Men (AMC)
Friday Night Lights (DirecTV)

Also, there are shows that start later that I'm very interested to see, including:

V (ABC)
Parenthood (NBC)
Better Off Ted (ABC)
Caprica (SyFy)
Lost (ABC)
Damages (FX)
United States of Tara (Showtime)

And none of these count the summer favorites that I fell behind on: Eureka and Burn Notice, and probably Warehouse 13 and Nurse Jackie if I can find the time.

So that's that. There may be some more cuts in Greys and Brothers and Sisters, as time permits, but in general I think this is a much lighter load than last year. Also almost all the cable shows are 13 episodes, which is a godsend cause those are easy to catch up on. Anyone watching any of these and care to comment on them?

Miles Fisher - This Must Be the Place

I really kind of dig this song.

Soooookie

I'm embarrassed that I'm writing this post. You see, I swore to myself I would never watch True Blood. First, I saw the unaired pilot and thought it was boring, and second, I despise the recent obsession with all things Vampire. I loved Buffy, and overall think vampires are kind of cool, but Twilight offends me, and its overwhelming popularity offends me even more. Because of that, I was just going to swear off anything that involved fangs for a couple years until the Twi-hards quieted down and everyone realized Kristen Stewart actually can't act her way out of a paper bag.

But sadly, I'm also a whore for peer pressure. If I hear people around me, whose TV opinions I respect (or at least tolerate. I'm looking at you, Adrik, for your Heroes watching ways) going on and on about how great a show is, I will give it a fair shot. So I bought (yes, actually PAID MONEY FOR) the first season of True Blood on iTunes and decided I'd start catching up on the plane ride.

Fucking Hell, I love it.

(I almost said "I was sucked in" but the punnage gave me indigestion this early in the morning.)

I'm not sure what I like about it, exactly. I'm not a huge fan of Sookie, although I don't dislike her. I'm not a huge fan of Bill, although hearing him say "Sookie Stackhouse" over and over again is a pure delight. Jason is sex-on-a-stick as Lafayette says, but watching him fight over these moral issues was interesting. Tara and Lafayette are both great characters. Tara's no nonsense is hysterical, and seeing that she's actually complicated is refreshing. Lafayette's AIDS Burger scene is one of my favorites. And while she's only a guest part in the first season, Maryane looks like she'll be fun. But I love Michelle Forbes in anything.

But the way these characters are written, and the storylines they are put to, are so interesting. The whole murder mystery of the first season took a back seat to exploring this new world. Watching Bill's vampire trial was cool, and seeing how the world would react to vampires is kind of interesting. I don't care for the whole effect of being staked, cause it's a little too gory for me, but in general I'm really digging this show and I cannot wait for the second season, which I hear is even better.

So I owe credit to Adrik and to TV Talk Podcast for getting me hooked. Thank you for showing me a great new show. This almost absolves Adrik of that Heroes debacle ;) I've started getting Season 2, and will probably tear through it this weekend. There go my plans of finishing Tsubasa Chronicle once and for all.

Sidenote: I love 13 episode seasons. They are much more condensed, leading to better storytelling, and they're easier to catch up on. Unless you're episodic, it's just too hard to drag a story arc over that many episodes. Not undoable, mind you, just very difficult.

Bao's blog!

Bao has a new blog!

http://www.pechism.org/blog/

There's nothing on it just yet, but yay!

Twilight Drinking Game, borrowed

http://zippytheavenger.deviantart.com/art/Twilight-Drinking-Game-100591794

It's hard to come up with a better drinking game than this one, but I'll give it a go eventually.

I posted it below, in case it ever disappears off of DeviantArt.

The Twilight Drinking Game

by Zippytheavenger

Because to get through that movie, you’re gonna need to be sloshed.


Take a sip when…

-Bella flips her hair
-Edward once again claims that he is dangerous
-Edward tells Bella to stay away from him, then stalks her anyway
-Bella bitches and whines about something for no reason
-Something happens in slow-motion with soft piano music
-Stephenie Meyer’s attempt at emotional writing turns into sappy ridiculous dialogue that would make any rational person LOL
-Some poor pathetic teenage girl sets herself up for disappointment


Take a drink when…

-Edward saves Bella from something
-Bella’s behavior is weak and antifeminist
-The filmmakers try to use special effects and snappy editing to disguise that there is no plot to speak of
-Edward acts like a controlling, possessive butt nugget
-Bella ALLOWS Edward to act like a controlling, possessive butt nugget because she’s a pathetic dumbass who lets Edward do whatever he wants and treat her like a child because, gosh, he’s so beautiful and Adonis-like teehee!
-Somebody hits on Bella because she’s OMG SO PRETTY WTF HAPPYRAINBOWS
-Bella stares at Edward longingly although she doesn’t know him and he has shown her nothing but disgust and contempt
-Edward does something that we are supposed to think is ‘sweet’ or ‘romantic’ but is actually stupid as hell
-Jacob struggles in vain to get Bella’s (or the audience’s) attention

Take two drinks when…

-Bram Stoker spins in his grave
-Alice gives a makeover or has a vision, because she exists only to be useful to the male characters
-Rosalie gets a flattering closeup or nice lighting, because she exists only to be beautiful, and therefore useful to the male characters
-Esme acts like the archetypal mother figure on her way to fetch Carlisle a beer and his slippers
-Carlisle acts like the archetypal father figure on his way to act like the stereotypical hot doctor
-Angry feminists throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Angry writers throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Angry vampire fans throw flaming garbage at the screen
-Something that should NEVER EVER EVER sparkle does so


Chug your drink when…

-Robert Pattinson’s concentration slips to momentarily reveal the shame and self-loathing he is feeling.


Throw your drink up in the air and dance for joy in the unlikely event that…

-The Cullens act like REAL vampires and rip all of the humans limb from limb.
-Edward goes out in the sunlight thinking he will sparkle and instead burns to a greasy black crisp. Slowly and painfully.
-Bella sprouts and brain AND a spine.
-You unlock the secret to time-travel and use the technology to go back and push Stephenie Meyer in front of a bus before she ever has the chance to write this drivel.