England Trip Part 1: I would kill for a chips van on my street.

So this will be my "England/Paris Trip" post. It will probably take me a while, and as a result be written in pieces during the day, so it may not flow so well, but I'll try to maintain the narrative.

I landed at Heathrow at like 7:15 in the morning on Saturday, after an almost full day of work and a 6 hour flight. The best part of the flight was the little girl next to me who was coughing up one of her tiny lungs and crying whenever the flight attendants insisted she be put in her own seat. Her mother was nice enough though. Anyway I get off the plane and hop on the train to Paddington and meet up with Bao. Paddington station was fucking freezing, and the sun hadn't even come up yet. Good times. But I had a pasty! I miss British baked meat products. I don't remember what was in it, but it tasted good, and the place had a pirate on the sign.

So then we proceeded to walk down to Hyde Park, just because I had heard the name before, and Kensington Palace was there. So we took this really circuitous route past some big statues and Kensington Palace. Brian couldn't stop remarking on how small the palace was and how large the park was. Of course it didn't help that the sun hadn't come up yet and it was fucking freezing. Then I dragged him literally across the park to this "Christmas Festival" that they were advertising on some signs. Such a waste of time. It hadn't technically opened, but they were touting the "Largest Ice Rink in England". Or maybe it was London. Either way, the whole thing was just slightly bigger than my Japan apartment. Apparently ice rinks in England suck. Then we started walking and literally stumbled upon Buckingham Palace. Then, because we had no map and didn't realize we were doing everything wrong, we hopped on the underground and went to the Tower of London. We crossed the bridge and then walked back toward Big Ben and the Millenium Eye, which I thought was right next door, and it really wasn't. But the upside was we got to see a cute little market, and the Globe. The Globe giftshop really made Shakespeare cool. Big Ben was like any other famous landmark: You're really excited to see it, and then you take 50 pictures, and then you're thinking "OK, NEXT". I had wanted to go up in the Eye but the line was wrapped around itself like 50 times, and it was located in like four places, so I couldn't figure out which line was for what.

After seeing the big sights, we went to Picadilly Circus to eat at the Japan Center. My Japanese has gotten so rusty, it's sad. Then we walked up towards Oxford circus. It was actually really, really cool because they shut-down the street for Christmas shoppers, and they had performers on stilts and in costumes. They also gave out balloons, which children kept releasing. It took all my willpower not to grab one of them and scream "YOU JUST KILLED A DOLPHIN" not because i care so much about Dolphins, but because I like scaring young children into not being a burden on society. At this point I'm completely exhausted though, and the only things really left to do in London are to go to a museum, which I wasn't really feeling, so we go to Paddington station, pay an obscene amount of money to get new tickets because they can't just exchange them, and we're off to Oxford.

Once we get into Oxford, we go to Brian's apartment, which is actually pretty nice, I thought. It was a little rundown, and the communal areas needed a little help, but his room was really nice. I showered and we relaxed before dinner, which was nice. Then we headed off to this Pub called the Eagle and Child (it's also sometimes called the Bird and Baby, and Brian insists "Bird and Bastard" is also used but everyone else did not agree). I had bangers and mash! And a pint of beer. Not british beer, but it's fine. I got to meet Sayaka and Cathryn, who are both hysterical. I love British pubs so much, I wish we had more around here.

After dinner we went down to the St. Cross college bar, where I met Aneliegh (spell check) and Laura, who are also quite entertaining. Katja came later too, but I'll get to that. Anyway we start drinking the college wine and chatting, which is fun. Aneleigh brings out this box of really old books that Oxford is just getting rid of. They were from the 1800s, at least, and in several different languages. Only in Oxford do they have excess books in Latin and Greek. After about two bottles of wine and Katja coming to visit, I have the brilliant idea to play a drinking game. Brilliant of course being sarcastic. So we play 21, which is actually a really fun game that I won't explain here, and I get trashed, apparently. The end of the night is hazy due to my blacking out. Whoops!

From what I've figured out, I broke a glass in the bar, and then we went out to get a Kebab from the van. These vans are amazing! They only come out at night, but they sell kebabs and chips and they're amazing and fantastic. I miss them already. Then we get in the taxi, and apparently about 5 minutes from Brian's flat I start repeating "I'm going to be sick, I'm going to be sick" and Brian is very much "No you're not" so the taxi stops and I launch myself and spew in the bushes. Good times. It's about this time I lost my wallet, I think, but more on that later. Then Brian manages to drag me and the food up to the flat, and I throw up in the toilet. Then he puts me in the shower, where I again throw up, before FALLING DOWN. I have scrapes on my back and knee to prove it. And I would apparently not get up, either. Good times. Eventually I get into bed, clothed, and fall asleep.

This Giant post was just my first day in England. Craziness. But it was fun. The next day I was sick but not as sick as the blacking out and throwing up would have indicated. At about 5 I realize I've lost my wallet, which is suck-tastic, but luckily one of Brian's neighbors found it and I eventually got it back. I'll continue with the rest of my Oxford adventures in another post, and Paris will probably be it's own post as well. And some day I will get pictures up.